


Today is Yesterday's Memory

by DiniaSteel



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 18:28:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 26,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/690100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiniaSteel/pseuds/DiniaSteel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward is an ancient vampire searching for the love of his life that was ripped from him over 3 thousand years ago.  Reincarnation theme.  Canon pairing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dreaming Time

~o0o~

Today is Yesterday's Memory

***  
“...today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream.”  
The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

Chapter 1  
Dreaming Time

The vampire stood on a cliff under a huge oak tree watching the harbor below watching the ships come and go. 

He was sad beyond words.

He had missed her again. 

She and her family were aboard one of those ships that were either about to sail or had just sailed off to the New World carrying the goods that the settlers in that far away land needed. 

He had been closer this time than he had been in 300 years. 

In this life time she was still a very young girl, but the name was the same, Isabella, 'God is bountiful'. In England, her name had been Elizabeth. 

She'd lived at least 3 life times since he'd lost her. 

He had eventually found her, but only because he had the ability to hear others thoughts. That made finding her a little easier, but there was just no telling where in the World her soul would incarnate. He had to play the odds and he had a good network of others, both vampire and human who would keep their collective eyes and ears open for any whisper of her. 

Flash Back:  
The last time she'd been a old woman with 17 grandchildren, but she'd still been beautiful and it made his heart weep to be so close once more and not be able to touch her. 

One of these times he'd be there at just the right time and they'd be together again.

It'd allowed her to just glimpse him standing on the edge of the clearing her small house was built in. She'd been outside watering her small herb garden. He stood in the shadows watching her, He had been so lost in memory that he'd not moved quickly enough to avoid her seeing him. 

She had seen him, but he'd vanished so quickly that she decided she'd imagined it. She'd shaken her head talking to herself.

“You are getting to old to be out in the Sun Isabella, go back inside” she spoke it out loud so he knew she'd seen him. 

It made Edward incredibly sad and he'd come close to ending his half existence then, but he didn't. 

*****

Time passes, as time does... 

Edward drifted from place to place filling his nights and days as best he could. Reading and studying. He studied piano and became more than proficient at it. He learned to paint and to sculpt. Once he'd mastered something he became bored and moved on.

Moved on. 

Moving on. 

Just 2 words. 

He despaired, but continued on toward his goal of reunion. 

This Century  
By the time 2008 rolled around He found himself in a very very small town on the Western Coast of what had become the United States of America. 

She was here. 

He was here. 

He would meet her, again. Would she, could she fall in love with him once more?

She had to. 

He was tired of this half life he'd been in for the last 600 years waiting for “her”. He would not wait any longer. If this time, he missed her for some reason, or if he could not make her fall in love with him again, he would just find the true death.

Her name was once again Isabella but she just wanted to be called Bella, or Bells. She was 17 years old and a junior in high school. 

Seventeen. 

That was the age they had both been they are been so horribly separated. Her, by death and himself a form of dead caused by the same person who'd killed Isabella. He slipped into the memory of that... 

~o0o~  
Fateful Night...

The lovers were walking hand in hand in the early twilight hours, just enjoying each other. It was that joy that attracted the vampire to begin with. He couldn't read minds, but he did feel emotions, and theirs were so strong, it had pulled him to them.

He watched them walking side by side, deliberately bumping shoulders and laughing at each others expressions. 

Love. 

Most of all it was the Love that The Vampire felt radiating from them that attracted him to them.

The Vampire jumped out of the shadows knocking down the boy first and grabbing the girl. She was so soft and smelled so good. Her emotions were strong. She was terrified. Not so much for herself, but for the boy. 

Jealousy. 

That's what the vampire felt toward the boy. The boy was loved and he, The Vampire was feared and not loved.

The girls blood tasted so good and rich with love. Before the vampire realized it, he'd totally drained the beautiful girl. 

Gone. 

All gone. 

A groan brought the vampire back to the darken path again. 

The boy. 

He would die. 

The boy had had the beautiful girls' love and all of her emotions. Love, was her last emotion and it had been for the boy. 

He would die for that, but not the true death. He would curse the boy with the vampire's own fate.

The boy was groaning, sitting up and looking around. 

Where was his love, his life? 

She was laying on the ground. 

Silent. 

Cold. 

Anguish. 

Sorrow.

Before the Vampire realized what he was doing he had the boy by his throat, when lights came up the path quickly toward them. 

All the screaming must have raised the villagers. 

He'd leave the boy half drained and come back for him later.

That never happened though, because the villagers trapped the Vampire and set him on fire. 

When the boy was able to get around once more, he had begun to change into something that frightened his family. The entire village ran him away.

From that time on, he had been alone. 

Feeding. 

Hunting. 

Feeding. 

Missing her. 

******

In the last couple hundred years, he'd joined with others who like himself didn't wish to live off the lives of humans and had learned to gain their nourishment from animals, preferably those who lived wild in the woods. The taste of the blood was more like that of human, if only by a little bit. 

One of the newest family members had a talent for seeing the future of those around her. She saw him with a beautiful young girl. She'd shared this vision with him and he realized it was His Love. 

Now all they had to do was figure out just when and where this meeting would take place. From the looks of the clothing, it was sometime in the future.

It took another 100 years when the fashions began to resemble the original vision, that Alice, as she was calling herself now, found Edward's Love and himself getting closer to each other. He would need to be in the State of Washington in a small town named Forks. She could give him only an approximate time frame. 

All of the family agreed to help him in his plan to regain Isabella. 

Edward went at once to Forks and listened to see if his Love was there yet. 

He heard that a new girl was coming to Forks to live with her father and would be enrolling in the high school as a junior at the beginning of the next semester.

It had been decided the pretense of being a family of two “adults” and 5 siblings. All of whom were, of course, adopted, but a “family” never the less. His entire family began at once to move to Forks and began renovations on a house that Edward found and knew his mother, Esme would love. 

The father, Carlisle applied to the hospital there and was hired on the spot since his records and recommendations were impeccable. The hospital and the town in general, felt they were extremely lucky that the Doctor and his family had been attracted to their small community. Dr. Cullen had put it about that his wife hated large cities and towns so Forks was just ideal for them. 

All of the family, with the exception of Carlisle and Esme – as they were the parents – enrolled in the high school. Edward and Alice would be juniors while Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were enrolled at Seniors. 

Edward arranged that all of his classes were with Isabella, as she was known this life time.

Once Isabella re-fell in love with Edward, he would tell her the truth.

She would remember. She had to.

*****

Bella

Bella was late for school, again. 

She'd missed the gossip session that usually occurred in the parking lot outside the school building. If she'd been able to hear the latest, Bella would have known about the new students. She would no longer the newest student.

She didn't see Angela Weber, the best friend she'd found so far in Forks, until lunch time and then it was too late because, she'd already seen the Cullens.

By the time the lunch period was over, she was already smitten with the lot of them. The last class of Bella's day was art and much to her joy, and consternation, she was seated with the new boy, Edward Cullen. 

He was the most beautiful boy she'd ever seen. As a rule, Bella didn't think about boys, in any way, and totally unlike any of the other girls in school Bella was still a virgin with no desire to change that status. That is, until she saw Edward Cullen.

Edward Cullen was well over 6 foot tall with unruly reddish hair and deep golden eyes that seemed to be able to see deep down into her soul. They were able to talk a bit during class and Bella felt a deep connection between herself and Edward, though she couldn't for the life of herself, understand it.

There was an electrical current flowing between them. Bella felt it when they both reached for the same box of pastels. As their hands had brushed lightly, a very palatable spark leaped from his fingers into hers. She'd never felt anything like it before.

They had chatted quietly as they both worked on their separate projects for the class. Nothing much was talked about really, just general things like the weather, families, and class mates.

Then, Edward asked “Do you mind if I walk you out to your car Isabella?” just before the bell rang releasing them from the school day.

Bella blushed and said that she didn't mind.

Walking down to their lockers proved a bit of a problem for Bella as everyone was stopping and staring as she and Edward would walk by. She didn't like being the focus of all that attention.

“Err, everyone is staring at us Edward”, Bella stammered looking sideways Edward and blushing deeply. 

“Just ignore them Isabella. I've not talked to anyone today but you, so I think they see just how special I find you” Edward grinned at Bella.

That made her blush even deeper from embarrassment.

That seemed to make Edward smile. 

Once out of the building and into the parking lot, Edward walked very close to Bella and as he place hand on the small of her back she felt that same jolt of electricity. She'd not felt anything like this in her entire life and it made her more nervous than she'd normally be, which was a lot. Bella had a difficult time articulating what she wanted to say, normally, and found it totally impossible to say anything now.

Edward was smiling at Bella waiting for her to say something. 

“Err, what? Did you say something?” Bella replied finally.

“I asked you if you'd like to go to a movie or perhaps dinner with me.”

“Aah, when?” was all Bella could stammer out.

“How about tonight” Edward smiled down at her.

“Ahm, sure” she managed to get out. 

“Great. I'll pick you up about 7 tonight? Dinner? That will give us a chance to really talk and get to know each other.” Edward looked very serious but ended with a crooked smile that was almost heart stopping. 

Then he turned and walked to his own car where the rest of his family was waiting for him. They were all just so beautiful, it made Bella's eyes hurt just looking at them.

Angela came hurrying over to where Bella was standing with the mouth open and transfixed.

“Oh. My. God. Bella. What did he have to say to you?” Angela was all eyes that were filled with awe and wonder. 

“He asked me out on a date” Bella replied with disbelief. 

“Oh. My. God” was all that Angela was able to get out, then, “When? Where? What are you going to wear?”

Bella just stood there with her mouth open shaking her head.

When she got home, Bella flew up stairs and to her closet. What was she going to wear tonight. She'd never been on a date before. What was appropriate? She finally settled upon a medium blue sweater with black wool slacks and her dressier Converse shoes.

She quickly got her homework done, hoping she'd done the math correctly. She wanted her weekend free...just in case...

She had her father's dinner ready when he got home and told him she had a date. At first Charlie, as she called her father - but not to his face - was upset that she'd not asked permission before accepting. He relented because he saw how sorry Bella was for over looking that detail as well as the name of the young man in question.

“Edward Cullen” Bella mumbled.

“Dr. Cullen's son?” Charlie asked with eyebrows raised.

“Honestly Dad, I don't know what his father does, I only know he and his brothers and sisters started school today.”

“Well, OK. I want to meet this young man before you leave. I want to talk to him. None if this honking when he pulls up. I expect him to behave as a gentleman should.” Charlie was a bit gruff, but Bella knew he was only concerned about her.

At 7 on the dot, there was a knock at the Swan's door. 

Bella flew down the stairs only to meet Charlie's shaking head. Then he answered the door with Bella hanging in the background.

“Chief Swan? I'm Edward Cullen. I've come to pick up Bella for dinner tonight. May I come in?” 

“Sure” Charlie gruffly replied. 

Charlie opened the door. Edward noticed that Charley was still in his uniform, complete with his gun in it's holster hanging from the utility belt. 

Edward looked directly into Charlie's eyes, “Chief Swan, so pleased to meet you,” he offered his hand to Charlie. 

“I promise to take good care of Isabella and I'll have her home by midnight if that's alright with you.”

“Yes, well, see that you do.” then turning to Bella, “I'll be waiting up Isabella.”

There wasn't much more that Charlie could say other than ask questions about who Edward's father was and where they'd come from.

“My father is a doctor and works at Forks hospital. We came here from Alaska where we were home schooled by our parents.” 

Edward held his hand out to Bella, which she took as they left the house heading the steps to his car.

Once into the car, Edward let out a huge sigh. “Well, the lion was bearded in his lair” that comment made Bella giggle. 

Yes, my father can appear quite difficult. 

“Shall we get going. I've made reservations for us at La Belle Ital for 7:45”.


	2. Meeting Carlisle

Today is Yesterday's Memory  
Chapter 2  
Meeting Carlisle

The Vampire was going by the name Edward currently when he was in Merry Ole England. It was in the 1700 the rule of James the First. Politically England was becoming unstable due to James beliefs of the Monarch's Divine Right and Parliaments demanding more rights for the Commons and Lords as well.

Edward was sitting in the very back in the darkest corner of a pub he could find when he overheard thoughts that didn't seem quite human to him. After listening for a little while longer he came to the definite conclusion that he was hearing another vampire.

This was the first time he'd run across another vampire who wasn't interested in slaughtering every human in sight. To introduce himself, Edward had the bar maid take a flagon of ale to this strangers’ table. When the vampire inquired who'd sent the ale, the bar maid pointed to Edward, who leaned forward into the light so the other could see him. Edward motioned with my head to the back exit to which he close to.

The other nodded his thanks to Edward. Pretended to drink, put the flagon down and left the pub. Edward threw some change on the table and exited the back way. They greeted each other and shook hands. With that they ran from the city to a place in the forest where they could talk. The other vampire's name was Carlisle. He was close to 100 years old at this time and bored with where he was and what he was doing. He was ready to move along to somewhere else.

They talked for several hours, in fact they only became aware of how long they had talked when the sky began to lighten. During this discussion they'd shared their past histories and had decided to travel together from then on.

They went to Italy, Greece, Egypt – where Edward had been born – they even looked up Edward's family to see if there were any alive. There were some relatives, but none of the ones were still around that he'd known. It was the same for Carlisle. None of those he'd known before his transformation were still alive. 

During one of their many conversations, they decided to form their own immortal family. If they ran across others they were particularly drawn to, and they were willing to refrain from taking human life, they'd ask them to join their family. Even though Carlisle was the younger vampire, he'd been older, almost 30, when he was transformed. He and Edward agreed that for family purposes, he'd be the Patron. Edward would be his first born, followed by whom ever else came along.

Edward shared his longing for his lost mate so many many years ago, and how he'd been always a little too late in finding her again. His desire to be there at the right time was his goal, and Carlisle vowed to be of as much assistance as he could because he could see just how sad Edward was.

Many more years passed and Carlisle and Edward had many adventures and several very close calls before they found themselves in the New World. Carlisle had mastered the skills of being a physician and surgeon. Edward had mastered it all also, but did not gain the satisfaction Carlisle did. Edward's pull was to the arts of music and painting, and business. 

Edward was very restless. He asked Carlisle if he'd like to go with him to South America and do some exploring. Neither of them had been there before so they both learned Spanish and Portuguese and left after a couple of weeks preparation. While there they met with some very different vampires who, while they were human blood drinkers were still willing to just sit down and talk with them without threatening to dismember and burn them. There were 3 sisters, after a fashion in particular they'd met that Carlisle wondered if perhaps the myth of Amazon Women had originated with them. It was something he'd research at a later date.

While they were in the Amazon, Edward discovered he had a taste for the big cats there, jaguars and panthers . Their blood was more like that of humans. Bears were ok, but didn't have as good a flavor as the big cats had. That made him wonder if perhaps he shouldn't go to Africa and go on safari. He asked Carlisle if he'd like to come too. Carlisle declined that trip saying he needed to get back to his human patients and his surgery in the New England area of what was the United States.

Edward left for Africa the next morning. He said he'd swim the whole way. Which he did. While in Africa he met up with other vampires who were native to that continent. They tended to stay away from others, especially if they were white men. However with Edward's ability to read minds, he discovered another mind reader, though not as strong or talented as Edward was. However, they did manage to strike up a reasonable peace accord between themselves, so they could at least have a conversation with out the mayhem that usually accompanied rival vampires meeting.

They sat on a mountain and watched life and death unfold beneath them. Edward found out some very interesting information about African Vampires and shared some things about those in Europe. A friendship was forged between the two vampires and his new friend vowed to visit him in the New World someday soon.

Edward did manage to do some big game hunting and even killed an elephant, but decided he didn't like the taste of it's blood at all. He allowed the big cats to have at it, then he stalked the big cats. Yes, he definitely enjoyed big game cats blood very much. He would miss it in the New World, but that was the way things went. He'd come back some day and hunt here again.

When he got got to the New World, Carlisle had moved from New York, to Boston. There he'd found a dying woman who's blood sang to him. He'd been able to just catch her in time before her heart stopped and turned her. Her name was Esme, and she would become his mate. She'd felt the attraction also, and told him before she'd thought she was dying that she'd fallen in love with him. That was all the encouragement he needed and was able to pronounce her dead and no one ever was the wiser.

Luckily Esme was the mothering type and Edward at once felt she was a member of the family he and Carlisle were forming. Now all they needed were a couple of others with their mates and they'd have a good solid foundation and assurance them that other vampires would not mess with them.


	3. Forming the Family

Yesterday's Memory  
Chapter 3  
Forming the Family  
~o0o~  
EPOV:

The day we found Alice was very interesting. It must have been in the late 1800 or even early 1900. We were traveling down South in what I thought was called Mississippi these days. 

We had just crossed a field when I heard a voice saying, “Edward! It's about time you got here. Now come rescue me from this nut house!” 

I told Carlisle and Esme to wait for me while I went to see who was talking to me and how she'd know I could hear her. 

I followed the voice and discovered that it was coming from somewhere in the basement of this huge brick building that looked like a large school. I broke out one of the windows and found my way to where the voice was coming from. I pulled a door off by it's hinges and into the light stumbled this perky, tiny little black headed girl.

“Hi! My name is Alice and I knew you were coming to save me. They think I'm nuts because I know the future. Can we go now!”

“Of course. How could I refuse you?” Her voice seemed so familiar to me and her mind had no guile in it for me or mine that I picked Alice up and ran from the Nut House as Alice called it. 

Her family had committed her because she was an embarrassment. I growled low in my chest and wondered how a family could do that to their child.

“Alice,” I told her, “Carlisle, Esme and I are forming our own family. Would you like to join us? We'd have to change you first. You want that don't you?” 

“Of course! I knew you were coming and that I would join you” Alice chirped. “Very soon we'll find my mate, though he doesn't know it as yet, but he will. We need to go to Texas. Can we leave now? Get me changed and go to find him, please!”

One day in April while driving through South Eastern Texas, when Alice started yelling to stop. We could see four men on the crest of a hill, two of the men were dueling in front and to the right of us. One of them was destined to be Alice's mate and she couldn't wait. There was a shot. One man fell to the ground. The other men that were involved in the duel that had just taken place on the hill, just left him laying there.

We had to wait until those others were out of sight before Carlisle and I could run up the hill with Alice. She confirmed that this man is the one she's been waiting for. 

Carlisle just managed to save Jasper. 

Alice now had her future mate. 

So, we became four. 

Rosalie  
We would soon find Rosalie, and Emmett. I, however, was still alone and beginning to despair. Would I ever find my mate? 

When I'd found Rosalie, she had been beaten almost to death by her father because she wouldn't sell her body to keep him in ale. I snapped his neck like a chicken and let him know why he was going to die. Even though he was little more than an animal, I would not sully myself with his blood.

Rosalie's limp body was so lush and I could barely hear her heart beat. I almost didn't get her to Carlisle in time. I feared I would not be able to stop once I had bitten her. That was the only reason I never tried to turn anyone myself. I didn't have the restraint that Carlisle did. He'd never tasted human blood, so it didn't have the call to him as it did to myself.

 

Emmett  
One day the 6 of us were driving along a country road when I heard an almost deafening roar and the voice was human. The voice was so deep it couldn't have been female. We witnessed a very large and muscular man being attached by a huge Long Horned bovine. 

His name was Emmett. He'd had been walking across a pasture when he was gored by an angry bull. Rosalie felt something for him right away so she scooped him up and ran back for Carlisle to turn. Emmett joined our merry band and soon became Rosalie's mate. He was the one destined to become Rose's mate. 

Now, everyone in my family was now mated. Everyone but me.

I concentrated on my music and painting. I gained such skill with my painting, I could sell the smallest for two thousand American dollars. It was crazy! I didn't think what I'd done was worth that much. I would have been happy to just donate them for some good reason, but as the saying goes, “When in Rome...” 

******  
There were so many of us now, we found it necessary to establish a residence of some kind and begin, in truth, to live our family lives together. We all knew there would be a difficult adjustment period, but we were all willing to make this work. 

Carlisle and I had already purchased houses in several different cities so we needed to decide if one of those was where we wanted to start. We were in Texas right now and had no home anywhere in that large state. We decided we'd try our luck with Galveston first.

We found a beautiful place that over looked the bay with what's called a widow's walk, complete with a telescope. It's 3 stories tall with lots of room for our large family. Esme had a wonderful time remodeling and we were able to move in about 6 weeks after the deal was final. Galveston is very pleased to have two doctors, a lawyer and an author move into their fair city. We become the social focal point and for the first several months, we are invited to party after party. I became the focal point for every single wealthy woman in Galveston and the surrounding area. It was only after the we'd turned down all of the invitations that they finally left us alone.

We put out the story that Alice was very high strung and being in large crowds was not good for her. It just wouldn't be fair to her if everyone but she and Jasper went to social events. So with nodding heads and disappointed smiles, they begin to leave us alone. 

There was one difficulty that Carlisle and I had forgotten about and that was the desire for blood that all new born vampires – with Carlisle the only exception I'd ever heard of. Because of this error in judgment we'd made it became necessary for us to flee Galveston after only living there for less than a year. We deserted our house and everything inside it in the middle of the night and made for the swamps of Louisiana where we stayed until everyone in the family had become acclimated to animal blood.

*****  
Our next home was established outside of a thriving community named Los Angeles. Carlisle and I set up a medical clinic where we treated patients who were not able to get medical attention from other places. Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper were back east attending Harvard Law. That left only myself, Carlisle and Esme to play at being family. Esme was a wonderful home keeper. I could never understand how she'd been married to such a miserable man. 

I decided that I needed to go to a University and study the human mind. I heard so many of them clambering daily that I was in hopes that if I could better understand the workings of the mind, what I was hearing would make more sense to me. 

It would have been a complete waste of my time if I weren't able to hear my patients thoughts. I was able to make better diagnosis because I could sort through what they were thinking. I was never, however, able to hear anymore than just surface thoughts, what lay hidden in the subconsciousness of my patients was something that I had to work with them to bring up into their conscious minds.

Ten years had passed since we'd come to California and Los Angeles. It was time to move along before it became too apparent that we were not aging as humans do. If fact none of us aged one day after our transformations. Everything was frozen, except our minds and emotions. The women became even more beautiful and the men more handsome. I always felt, it was Natures way of compensating for the loss of our humanity. We, however, were able to regain a good portion of that after many years. We were virtually outcasts from our kind. However, we did have some very good, and influential friends in the Vampire World, which was of great help. 

~o0o~


	4. Bella

~o0o~

Today is Yesterday's Memory  
Chapter 4  
Bella

I'm running through a dark forest and I don't know where I am. I'm calling and calling but he's not finding me. Why isn't he finding me. I miss him so much. He promised he'd never leave me. That he loved me more than life itself, but he's not here! Where is he. Where is my Love and my Life?

I awaken sweating and my heart pounding, and Charley pounding on my bedroom door.

“Bella! Are you alright? You were yelling and it sounded like you're crying. May I come in Baby? Please unlock your door and let me in.”

“I'm Ok Char, er Dad. I'm OK. Please go back to bed. I was just having another bad dream. I'll be OK. I promise.” I laid back down on my bed and ran my fingers through my hair. I'd been having this same dream most of my life. However, it'd been only since I'd turned 17 that it'd gotten this bad. It was a great deal more specific now.

I check out a couple of books on dreams from the Forks Library. The title was almost a joke compared to other library's I been to. This one was where a bank used to be. I didn't know why exactly, but I found that amusing. The books told me exactly nothing that I didn't know already. I decided I needed to go to Seattle and see what I could find there. 

“I tell you Angela, this last dream was so real feeling. I was terrified that I'd never find him. I have to find him. I miss him and I have no idea who he is. It's so frustrating.” Angela and I were sitting in a Starbucks in Seattle.

“I've hesitated about mentioning this to you before Bells, but I think you should go talk to this woman that I know. I've even been to her and she's answered a great many questions for me, and what she's told me has come true.” Angela was very hesitant in the way she was telling me this.

“She's a fortune teller, right.” I eyed Angela suspiciously.

“Yes, but...she's really good, and Bella, she doesn't expect to be paid anything unless what she tells you comes true and then only what you want and can afford.” Angela said quietly but she did meet my eyes. They were clear and convinced.

Running my hands through my long chestnut colored hair, I gave in. “OK. I'm desperate here. I really need some answers, even if they're from a fortune teller.”

“I told you, she's not a fortune teller. She just knows things about people and what's going to happen to them.” Angela argued.

I stood up and gathered my bags I'd acquired shopping in the Mall. “Well, let's go!”

Angela smiled at me and quickly finished her mocha. “Ok. Let's go”. She retrieved her purchases and we both headed for the exit and her car.

Fifteen minutes later we're standing on the front porch of a small middle class home in the suburbs of Seattle. Angela knocked on the door, and I stood off to the side still not 100 percent sold on this course of action.

The door opened, and I expected to see an old, slumped shouldered, long skirted, multi necklaced old woman. Instead we were greeted by a woman who was probably in her 30's who was wearing slate grey slacks and a red cable knit turtle neck sweater. Her hair was long, black and free flowing.

“Angela! How wonderful to see you again. I see you brought a friend with you.” she held the screen door open Angela and I to enter into her home. “Come in, I'll make us all a cup of tea.” Looking at me, “I can tell your friend isn't exactly comfortable.” She smiled at me and said, “I don't bite, really.”

Once inside and the door securely shut, Angela made the introductions, “Emily Young, this is Bella Swan. Bella, this is Emily.”

Emily Young was very pretty, or would have been if she didn't the four long scars on the right side of her face. She must have been in a very bad accident and couldn't afford plastic surgery to eliminate the scars. I had to hand it to her though, she didn't let them get in her way. No apologies no trying to hide them. She owned them.

“I'm so happy to meet you Bella.” Emily took my hand and shook it warmly. “I think this is the first time Angela has brought anyone here with her.

“Bella has been having a disturbing reoccurring dream and she needs to know what it means.” Angela volunteered without my permission. 

I was a tiny bit angry with Angela for doing so because it should have been my place to tell.

“If I were Bella,” Emily stated reprovingly, “I would be very angry with you for disclosing something that's only her's to tell.” She finished looking to me with sympathy. 

My anger dissipated with Angela. I knew she only meant to help me knowing how shy I could be with people I didn't know. I realized that I would be alright with Emily however and smiled at Angela, “Don't worry Angela. My first thought was to be sharp with you, but I realized that you meant only good for me.”

Angela was on the verge of tears and hugged me fiercely for not being really angry with her for her error in judgment. 

Emily smiled at me and nodded approvingly. She motioned for me to follow her into the next room. Angela hesitated but I motioned for her to follow. An action that wasn't lost on Emily.

“Are you sure you want Angela to hear what I have to tell you? I've actually been expecting you for about 2 months now.” Emily stated 

“You have?” I almost shouted. “Why. How?” 

Emily smiled. “You're not the only one who has dreams you know. I've seen you very clearly sitting right here” she indicated to a small round table with two chairs on either side. Angela sat down on one of the chairs that lined the walls of the small room.

Emily busied herself lighting candles and incense. I noticed it was one of my favorites, Sandalwood.

I sat down in the chair she'd indicated and waited to see what kind of mumbo jumbo she'd come up with. I was expecting what I'd read were Gypsy tricks. They didn't come. Instead, Emily took both my hands into hers and turned them palms up. She looked at them intently, the released me abruptly.

“You bring Death, Swan. You're looking for Death in your dreams.” Emily looked me right in the eyes and said it so steadily without cracking a smile or shuttering. “Why are you seeking Death?” she asked me. There was no trace of humor in her eyes at all.

“What I'm running through the woods looking for is Death?” I couldn't believe what I was hearing. “Death, really” I scoffed, “then why do I feel like I've lost love and that I really need to find him?”

Emily sat in front of me shaking her head. “I don't know” was her calm reply. All I know is that Death is looking for you and you are looking for it. Sorry if it seem cryptic,   
but I'm not being told anything but that. I do know that what you are looking for will have amber colored eyes, and that it's closer to you than it has been in a very, very long time.” Emily stood, indicating that our “session” was over and time to leave.

Angela and I both left not speaking until we'd been in the car and on our way back to Forks.

“Amber colored eyes?” I was questioning myself more than anything else as I spoke.

“Yep, that's what I heard her say too.” Angela acknowledged.

“I don't think I've ever seen anyone, human that is, with that color of eyes.” I was thinking if I'd ever read anything about that eye color. “I had a Tuxedo cat once who's eyes were that color, and I've seen pictures of big cats who's eyes are Amber, but never a human.” I'll have to go to the library, or better yet, go on line and check that out. 

We were quiet after that for the entire drive back to Forks, both lost in our own thoughts.  
*****

When I got home, I sat down and turned my laptop on and Googled, Amber eyes. Some of the entries were just what I remembered have read before about cat having Amber eye coloring. There was one entry, that was on the 15th or 16th reference page on that subject. 

“Legend states that certain vampire clans are believed to have this color ( amber ) eyes because they do not drink human blood.” and that was all it said, just something in passing. I forgot it at once giving it no credence at all. I got no satisfaction at all from my search, not learning anything I didn't already know about.

*****

“Don't be afraid of me Bella. I love you and have searched many lifetimes to find you again. I hope you can still love me.” A sinister dark figure was speaking to me from the shadows. It was Death!

I woke up in a sweat. Oh. My. God. I was terrified. I didn't want to die. I was only 17 for heaven's shake. Why was I looking for Death, and what I had just dreamed was Death. Was it an indication that I was going to die, and die soon. All I had to do was look for amber colored eyes. I just hoped and prayed that I'd see it coming and get away.

~o0o~

A/N: Have any of your ever had dreams like Bella did? Did they scare you, or did you want to know more? When I was very young, I kept dreaming I was a Native American running through the forest with someone chasing me, I'd feel a sharp pain in my calf and fall down. Looking I'd see that I had an arrow lodged there and I couldn't run any further. I was scare very badly and I wake up screaming for help every time. Never did figure that dream out.


	5. Don't Be Afraid of Me

Yesterday's Memory  
Don't Be Afraid of Me  
Chapter 5

 

“'Don't be afraid of me Bella. I love you and have searched many lifetimes to find you again. I hope you can still love me.” A sinister dark figure was speaking to me from the shadows. It was Death!'”

“I woke up in a sweat. Oh. My. God. I was terrified. I didn't want to die. I was only 17 for heaven's shake. Why was I looking for Death, and what I had just dreamed was Death. Was it an indication that I was going to die, and die soon. All I had to do was look for amber colored eyes. I just hoped and prayed that I'd see it coming and get away.”

~o0o~

 

She'd missed the gossip session that usually occurred in the parking lot outside the school building. If she'd been able to hear the latest, Bella would have known about the new students. She would no longer the newest student.

She didn't see Angela Weber, the best friend she'd found so far in Forks, until lunch time and then it was too late because, she'd already seen the Cullens.

By the time the lunch period was over, she was already smitten with the lot of them. The last class of Bella's day was art and much to her joy, and consternation, she was seated with the new boy, Edward Cullen. 

*****

Oh. My. God. 

He has amber eyes! 

His voice. That beautiful velvet voice.

Something very primal was speaking to Bella. 

What does this mean? 

Her dream...

Something was tickling her memory, but she couldn't grasp it. All she knew was that wanted this beautiful boy to want her as much as she was feeling the pull to him. 

Why was she feeling this way? In her short 17 years she'd not felt this strongly for anyone, not even her parents.

Bella's parents...it was like they really didn't matter or have any say in her life. 

It was as if they were a gateway for her to have Life. Once she was born, it was only a matter of time until...

Until what?

He was speaking to her.

Bella snap out of it. Answer him...

*****

Flash Back  
“Err, what? Did you say something?” Bella replied finally.

“I asked you if you'd like to go to a movie or perhaps dinner with me.”

“Aah, when?” was all Bella could stammer out.

“How about tonight” Edward smiled down at her.

“Ahm, sure” she managed to get out. 

“Great. I'll pick you up about 7 tonight? Dinner? That will give us a chance to really talk and get to know each other.” Edward looked very serious but ended with a crooked smile that was almost heart stopping. 

*****

“Shall we get going. I've made reservations for us at La Belle Ital for 7:45”.

*****  
BPOV:  
He's being so careful with me, not touching me. Not looking at me. Why? What's going on here. Why do I feel so close to him already. What is it about him. What is this attraction. I know he must feel it also. Is that why he didn't touch me. The air is very close in this car. I wonder if I could get him to let some air in. I need to breathe.  
A thousand thoughts were flying through Bella's mind. There was something so familiar about this beautiful boy.

His eyes are amber. 

My dream. She has a sharp intake of breath.

“Don't be afraid of me Bella. I love you and have searched many lifetimes to find you again. I hope you can still love me.”

Emily Young's warning. “I don't know” was her calm reply. All I know is that Death is looking for you and you are looking for it. Sorry if it seems cryptic, but I'm not being told anything but that. I do know that what you are looking for will have amber colored eyes, and that it's closer to you than it has been in a very, very long time.”

Bella unable to contain her hopes and her darkest fears blurts out, “Edward, just who are you? Why are your eyes amber colored? Who are you? What are you to me?”

EPOV: 

She knows!

She's remembered!

She loves me still!

“I'm Edward Cullen Bella. Why are you asking me this. You know who I am. I'm in most of the classes you have. What's wrong with you that you can't remember me?”

“Edward, this is going to sound really insane, but I think I've been dreaming about you.”

She knows. She is beginning to remember. Gods above, please let her remember.

Edward smiled when he replied, “How could you be dreaming about me? Was it a good dream?”

“I'm not sure Edward. Bella spoke very slowly trying to remember the sequence of events as the dream unfolded. “I'm running in a forest and I see you and you speak to me and then you're gone. Vanished. I run and run and run, searching for you. Calling to you to stop to come back to me.”

Holding his breath Edward asks, “Do you think it could just be a Deja Vu?”

“I don't know Edward.” Bella sighs. “I've been having this same dream ever since I turned 17 last September. Part of me is terrified while another part of me feels relief that I've finally found you, and you tell me in the dream to not fear you.”

“It sounds like a good thing Bella. Are you afraid of me?”

“No Edward. I've never been surer of anything in my life. I'm not afraid of you.”

“I hear a 'but' in that” Edward says waiting.

“But...Angela talked me into going to see this woman she knows who can interpret dreams, she has the gift, and she said I was looking for death.” Bella cocked her head to one side and looked at Edward, “Are you Death to me Edward?”

Edward pulls into the parking lot of La Belle Ital. He takes the keys out of the ignition, “I sure hope I mean Life to you Bella.” 

Bella shivers and gasps.

~o0o~


	6. First Date

Yesterday's Memory  
Chapter 6  
First Date

Edward's hand covered Bella's and the feeling it brought was like an electric shock causing her to flinch.

“I hope so too Edward, because I am so drawn to you. There is a connection I don't understand. Part of me thinks I should be frightened of you, but I can't bring myself to really allow that because another part of me seems to remember something about you and is not frightening.” Bella caught her lower lip between her teeth and lowered her eyes, “I feel very comfortable and safe with you already, it's like we've know each other forever”.

Edward raised Bella's hand to his lips and kissed each knuckle in turn. She had no idea as yet just how long they had known each other. 

The effect of this gesture made Bella's insides begin to melt into a puddle. Had he done this before? It seemed he had. There was a memory tickling her, but what? What was wrong with her?

EPOV  
Isabella is starting to remember me and what we were to each other. I want to tell her, but I fear it's too soon. 

The waitress approached their table with her eyes only on Edward. He could hear what she was thinking and was embarrassed for the girl. 

I'll take what ever he's packing any day! The waitress' imagination was running rampant with visions of how Edward would look hovering above her as he plunged his cock into her pussy. 

It was all Edward could do to not scold her for her thoughts and tell her what he was thinking. How could any other woman/girl think she could out shine my Bella? 

“Hello, I'm Irina and I'll be your waitress for this evening. May I take your drink orders, please.” 

Edward looked up at the woman and told her flatly, “just water for now please,” then turned to Bella and raised an eyebrow in a motion that could only be interpreted as “save me!”

Bella smiled and placed her hand protectively over Edwards in show of possessiveness that was not lost on Irina or Edward, “I'll have the same with a slice of lime, please.” smiling sweetly at the waitress. 

Frustrated, Irina turned on her heels leaving Bella and Edward alone once more. As soon as the waitress leaves, Bella removes her hand from Edwards, and back into her own lap.

“That was nice of you Bella. You knew that I was uncomfortable and you protected me from that, 'shark' .”, was the only nice word that he felt could describe Irina. 

Bella relaxed again. Scoffing she looked up into Edward's eyes, “I could tell you were uncomfortable and the only thing I could think of to give her the impression that you and I are a couple.”

Edward smiled. “I'd like that Bella, wouldn't you?”

Bella gulped, “Like what?” 

“I like the idea of you and I being a couple. Don't you?”

It seemed that every time Bella looked into Edward's eyes, she had strange feelings, almost like a memory. She tried to put it out of her mind and focus on the future and the moment. “Yeah, I do, but isn't it a bit early to be at this point? After all, this is only our first date.” But if she was honest with herself, she did want to be “a couple” with Edward and wanted everyone to know it. He was beautiful and made her feel...what did he make her feel. Loved? Wanted? Cherished? All of those verbs, Bella realized.

It was Edwards turn to reach across the table again and lay his hand protectively, and yes, possessively over hers. “Bella, I've felt this connection to you all day, and you can't say you haven't felt it too, because I know you have”. 

She looked into his eyes and melted again, “No Edward, I can't deny I feel the connection to you. I just don't understand it, and it scares me – a little.”

“Don't over think this Bella. I want to be with and I think you feel the same way.” Edward's eyes were imploring and compelling. “Will you be my girlfriend?” 

Bella blushed a deep red and looked down at the table cloth. “Do I have to give you an answer tonight Edward, or is this a diminishing, one time offer?” When she finished the sentence, she looked up at him and smiled shyly.

Edward squeezed Bella's hand affectionately. “No, it's not diminishing Bella. It could never diminish. I'm not going anywhere. If you're not comfortable enough yet to give me an answer, I can wait until you are ready. I've known since the first time I saw you that you were the one for me.”

Bella felt her heart swell with affection for Edward, but it was just too soon to declare she only wanted to be with him. They didn't know each other as yet. How could they? He had just moved here with his family. Humm, his family. When I meet them they will give a better idea of who Edward is, I think. 

The waitress came back with their drink order and took their food orders. Soon, Bella was diving into some of the best pasta she'd had in a couple of weeks. She made good sauce, but this was wonderful. She noticed when she was just about finished eating, that Edward had not really eaten anything. It appeared that he'd just been pushing his around his plate. 

“Aren't you hungry Edward?”

“No, I guess not. I'm a little on edge I guess. You know, wanting to make a really good impression on you.”

Bella caught her lower lip between her teeth, “I'm sorry I put you off your food. I'm so sorry Edward. I...”

Edward reached across the table and grabbed Bella's hand once more, loving the feel of her skin on his. She looked up at him, “You haven't done anything to be sorry for Bella, I promise.”

Bella smiled and nodded, but she still felt as if she was the cause of his eating problem.

They sat talking about school for a little while, then Edward asked, “Are you ready to go we still have a movie to see?” reminding Bella there was still more of their first date to come. 

Bella smiled shyly and nodded. There was nothing more she wanted than to be alone with Edward, he as so beautiful and so perfect in every way.

Edward motioned for the waitress and asked for the check for their meal, paid it, then escorted Bella out to his car.   
During the movie, Edward held Bella's hand and they both leaned into the other. The movie they'd decided upon they'd both found to be very entertaining. However, Bella wasn't sure what exactly the movie had been about. All she'd really cared about was how close Edward was to her and how good that felt. 

On the drive back to Forks, Edward reached over and picked up Bella's hand and held it on his thigh all the way back. The tingling from the contact with him, run up and down her arm. It was the most wondrous feeling Bella had yet to experience in her short life. It was a contact she didn't want to stop, ever.

They had established a very comfortable silence between themselves, just listening to the music coming from Edward's iPod. 

They reached Bella's house, it was too soon for her. 

Edward got out, walked around his car and opened the door for Bella. He asked for her house key so he could open the front door of her house. She smiled at him shaking her head.

“I don't have to unlock the door. My father will be waiting up to pounce. You can count on that!” Bella half grimaced and half smiled at the thought. 

Edward seemed to take a deep breath, turned and walked side by side with Bella up the steps to her house, his hand on the middle of Bella's back. She love it.

As they reached the front door Bella turned to Edward, saying, “Yes, Edward. I would like to be your girlfriend.” Bella had no idea why she was so sure that it would be 'ok' for her to tell him that, she just knew it was.

The largest smile Bella had ever seen on another persons face broke out on Edward's. “You will! You do!” Bella thought he was going to kiss her, but at that moment, Charley chose opened the door, not waiting for Bella to knock or open it herself.

“What are you two doing out here?!” Charley demanded gruffly.

“We're saying good night Dad. What's it look like?” Bella had never spoken to her father with quite that much force before, but she'd meant it! She felt really angry for the interruption. 

Charley was a bit taken back by Bella's forceful reply. He spoke again, sounding apologetic,“Oh, ok. I was just checking.” then adding in a more fatherly tone, “I'm going to leave the door open, Bella. Five minutes.” 

The couple stood there, close but not touching, watching Charlie's retreating back. Then they looked back at one another.

“Bella” Edward asked, “may I see your cell phone? 

She rummaged in her purse, found it and handed it to him, not understanding why he wanted it, but she trusted him and handed it over without a word. 

He took it and punched his number into it, then took his phone out and added her's to his contact list.

“Now, I can call you, or you can call me, when ever we want to talk to each other.” 

“That's very sweet and thoughtful of you Edward, thank you.” Bella found looking into Edward's eyes was fast becoming one of her favorite things to do. It was right up there with his touching her.

From his chair inside, they could hear Charley clearing his throat.

Bella sighed, “I guess that's our cue to really say good night, Edward.”

Edward stepped up to Bella to where their chests were touching. Placing one hand on Bella's shoulder and bringing her chin up with the other. He lowered his lips to her hers. With that intimate contact, Bella saw flashes of images of a young couple walking hand and hand by a river with a bright moon sailing above. There were such wondrous feelings of comfort and love coming from the young couple. Bella felt she knew who they were even though she'd never seen them before. The impact of the flashes caused Bella to make a loud gasp.

Apparently that was too much for Charley, who flipped on the porch light and opened the screen door. He just stood there looking at them in disapproval.

Looking at Charley, Edward kissed Bella on her forehead, squeezed her hand, “Good night Chief Swan.” then looking at Bella, “Good night Bella.”

“Bella I'll call you, ok?” Edward asked.

“Sure Edward, anytime. I look forward to it.” Smiling shyly, “Good night. I had a really good time. 

Bella and Charley stood on the porch watching Edward get into his car, and drive way.

Walking back into the house, “So you had a good time. What did you do?” Charley was in the over the protective father mode.

“Just what I told you we were going to do. He took me to dinner and then a movie. We came back to Fork, and he brought me home.”

Bella was in too good a mood right now for the Swan Inquisition, so she kissed her father on the cheek, and headed for the stairs and the sanctity of her room. Her phone chirped. Looking at it she saw it was Edward. “You lonesome already Edward?” Bella was smiling to herself as she asked him.

“You have no idea Bella. What are you doing?”

“Getting ready for bed, what are you doing?”

“I'm sitting in my car in front of my house. I can still smell your perfume and I'm just reveling in it, not ready to leave it as yet.”

“You know, I have a tree just outside my room, you could climb it and come in and talk face to face” Bella had no idea why she'd offered that. She was embarrassed that she could just blurt that out like that.

Edward could hear the small gasp that escaped Bella after she'd said it, “As much as I'd love to take you up on that, I don't think it'd be a very good idea. Edward smiled into his phone, “I forgot to ask you Bella, would you like to meet my family tomorrow?”

“Yeah sure.” Bella worried her lower lip with her teeth, “Boy, you sure know how to not help a girl go to sleep, Edward.” she smiled and frowned into her phone, “Now I'm going to be worried about what they'll think of me.” Bella was biting her lower lip again.

“They'll love you just as I do Bella”

This made Bella giggled and blush. He'd said “love you just as I do”.

Trying to keep the smile out of her voice, Bella quipped “It's a little early to declare 'love' isn't it Edward?”

“No Bella, I feel I have loved you for a thousand years.” Edward's voice was so steady and sincere that Bella had no doubt that Edward meant what he was saying.

“How about I pick you up about 10:00 tomorrow?”

“Sounds good Edward. My father is working tomorrow and won't be home until late. He'll be gone by that time so we'll get to skip the Swan Inquisition.” They both laughed at this.

“Good Night Bella. I'll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night Edward. See you tomorrow.”

They were both smiling as they disconnected the call.

~o0o~  
A/N: Before you read this chapter, listen to Killing Me Softly With His Song sung by Roberta Flack, Cherish sung by The Association and A Thousand Years by Christina Perri


	7. The First Time He Saw Her Face (Edward reflecting on the first time he every saw his beloved)

Today is Yesterday's Memory  
Chapter 7  
The First Time He saw Her Face  
(Edward reflecting on the first time he ever saw his beloved)

The young man, who would become Edward Anthony Cullen in the distant future, walked along the path that lead from his village along the river to a small lake with the hopes of catching some fish for dinner. The Sun was just beginning to rise above the hills when he caught a glint of red-gold by the river bank.

That's when he saw her for the first time.

When the girl stood and turned toward him, he was transfixed by the sight of the beautiful, fair-skinned beauty with red gold hair. It was the second time he'd ever seen that color hair on anyone. So of course, he became fascinated by her. 

*****  
The first time he'd seen that color was on a priestess who was traveling and had asked his family for shelter for the night. As it was very bad luck to turn away a priest or priestess who asked for shelter, of course they had bade her enter into their small home and share their meager meal of beans,fish and a little bread. 

During the meal he'd raised his eyes to the priestess and looked again at her hair.

“I see you're intrigued with my hair color, child.” The priestess' words were the first spoken directly to him. The priestess couldn't have been much older than himself, but he was not insulted in anyway by the way she'd addressed him. Everyone who was not within the priesthood considered those who were not, to be children.

“Yes, I've never see that color before. Everyone I know has black hair,” the future Edward confessed.

“It is said that those of us who have red hair, have ancestors who came from a drowned land that sank beneath the seas many many years ago. My own mothers hair was completely red, and she had green eyes, much as your own.” the priestess explained.

“My parents have never understood why I have green eyes when no one else did.” Edward said. The priestess talked more with him after that and he'd been sorry to see her leave. Even then, he'd been a very inquisitive Individual. 

*****

The girl looked down shyly and I couldn't see what colors her eyes were. Fishing forgotten now that he'd seen her closer up, “May I walk with you?” he inquired, and that was the beginning of their romance.

Several times they'd managed to meet by the river banks to sit and talk with each other. There soon developed a deep love between the two of them, and they had received permission from their families to marry. They were just days away from the marriage when, disaster befell them when they encountered the vampire that killed the girl, and had turned Edward into the same hateful creature.

*****  
After Edward had run from his family and village when his transformation was complete, he'd roamed the country side terrorizing the villages up and down the river until they managed to chase him away. He continued to roam seeking only his next meal for a very long time. Today he thought that, that had been close to two hundred years. His ability to hear other's thoughts was the main reason for his escaping his own capture over the centuries.

When he was finally able to be around humans, without wanting to instantly to drain them, he happened to hear a conversation between a wise man and a student about how the soul lived within many bodies for many life times in order to perfect its self for being rejoined with the Creator. Immediately, he appeared before the wise man and asked if it would be possible to find another from a different life again. 

The wise man had been fearful, at first, that the vampire was going to kill himself and his student, but as they talked, he became more comfortable with Edward's presence. 

The answer to his question was,yes it was, but would be extremely difficult to do, if ever. One would have to be a mind reader and even then it would difficult, unless of course you could read the akashic records. 

Now, his life would have purpose besides feeding and roaming the world. He would find the newest incarnation of his murdered love and they'd live out eternity together.

~o0o~


	8. Reincarnation - An Original Poem

Reincarnation 

Upon a path of the rich green earth  
We set our feet anew.

We enter in different times only to converge,  
At this moment. 

What was yesterday only makes now  
More Important.

Who should lead  
Who can follow

Did we in robes of splendor traverse  
The Tower round

Or upon a hillock at midnight  
Bonfires leap?

Or simply a parent  
Smiling upon a child.

Perhaps lovers in tangles of white  
Sodden with the bodies delight

What ever the past,   
Now, is most important

For our today  
Conjures our tomorrow

Take my hand - hold me true  
I shall do the same

We can walk that razors edge  
Make our tomorrow, New

Carol Walling Steele  
1986


	9. Past Future

~o0o~

Today is Yesterday's Memory  
Chapter 9  
Past Future

We Have Come  
Dedicated to my daughter,  
*******  
Down through mists of forgotten ages  
We have come  
Climbing the chain of Souls  
Always together, always with love;  
Through the vaults of Cronus  
We have come  
To sun bright shores of time  
Always together, always with love;  
Across the fields of Hera  
Times of changes and of changing roles  
We have come,  
In Atlantis we walked hand and hand  
Always together, always with love,  
We mounted the steps to the Temple of the Moon,  
We have come;  
Once a Cave was the setting; then a Druid's forest,  
Always together, always with love,  
Through countless time, endless cycles,  
We have come  
In a desert hot, dry and bright in Berber robes,  
Always together, always with love;  
Moorish delights, ah! Spanish Knights.  
We have come.  
In caves of water - drowning in the night  
Always together, always with love,  
Knives flashing bright - cold slab of stone,  
We have come.  
Pits deep and dark - smothering  
Always together, always with love  
We have come   
Mother/Daughter; Father/Son  
Teacher/Pupil; Priest/Priestess  
Always together, always with love  
Today now we have come  
to also be friends.  
By   
Carol W. Steele July 1996  
*****  
Past Future

Pamiu (the future Edward Anthony Masen Cullen) was born during the reign of Amenemope in a very small village that was within sight of the Great River in what's referred to in modern times as the Upper Nile valley. He was the only child in his family and very young in life was made responsible for helping to feed his family. He father developed a disease that sometimes took elders and made it impossible for them to use their hands much with out extreme pain.

Pamiu did not mind doing for his parents. They were kind and loving to him. They taught him to respect the gods and to honor those who came before himself and his parents. Their Ancestors. 

The Ancestors of Pamiu were unique in that they were very fair skinned and had red gold or bronze colored hair with green eye coloring that ranged from pale to dark. Their females were usually taken to the Temples early because they had abilities that the Gods required. Pamiu's own mother could hear the thoughts of those around her, but she never told anyone that wasn't family about it and warned her son to never tell anyone what she could do because people feared what they didn't understand, and the priests would have taken her away to live in the Temples.

Pamiu found early in his life that he too was able to hear the thoughts of those around him, and at first he was frightened of this ability, but his mother helped him learn how to have some control over what the gods had seen fit to gift him with. He was very careful to never say anything to anyone of what he overheard, to make sure that his family was safe.

As he grew into a strong young man he feel deeply in love with a young woman who lived in a village not too far from his. The families met each other and it was decided that the couple would marry after the next rising of the Nile.

One late afternoon Pamiu and his sweetheart, Akela-Menkit, were walking hand and hand along a path that ran near the Great River's banks when they were set upon by a stranger who killed his love and left Pamiu to die – only he didn't die. He became a living dead man who roamed the villages of the upper and eventually the lower Nile river valley hunting humans for their blood as he'd been hunted by his “maker”. He eventually found his maker and he destroyed the hateful creature. 

This was the beginning of Pamiu's second life. It took him several hundred years before he began to feel that his life was meaningless and he began to search for knowledge. He left his home country and traveled through what became known as the countries that made up the Mediterranean. Sometimes he traveled with caravans on land, or on ships that sailed that body of water. Sometimes he swam across. It was one of the first times that Pamiu ventured into the Mediterranean that he encountered his first shark. It tired to eat him, but wound up being killed itself. The blood was too cool to be enjoyed much, but it was better than nothing.

Since he had the ability to hear others thoughts, he was in little danger of being caught by humans. He missed his parents, but it was too dangerous for him to be around them early on, and by the time he was able to be around them, they were already turned to dust in their graves. He'd felt very bad that they never knew what had happened to him. He missed his family.

Meeting Siddhartha: 

While traveling in what is today known as India, Pamiu found a young teacher called Siddhartha, sitting at the base of a huge tree in meditation. It would have been very easy to drink the blood of this teacher without any problems, but as he approached Pamiu found the thoughts of this man very soothing and calming. Pamiu's desire for the blood of humans, had lessened over the years that is was not a real requirement now so he paused to listen to hear more.

Siddhartha opened his eyes and addressed Pamiu like an old friend and with no fear. “Welcome Pamiu. Sit and and rest yourself. If you have water, please drink, and if it pleases you, please share with me as I have none to offer you.”

Pamiu told Siddhartha that he had none with him, but that he knew he could have some back here for the teacher in just a short while. And he was gone in a flash. He found a clay pot at a village that he filled from a nearby spring and returned back to the Siddhartha was sitting under that tree. He poured some of the water into a wooden bowl that was sitting on the ground near the teacher.

When Siddhartha's finger touched Pamiu's there was a distinct charge of electrical energy. The teacher opened his eyes and really looked at Pamiu for the first time. “Thank you for this gift of water that you have brought me. Tell me, what can I do for you?”

“I can hear your thoughts, Master. I want to know about reincarnation. How it takes place and if it is possible to find someone again?” Pamiu then went into his story about what happened to him and to his Love and how long he'd been roaming the Earth without any direction. He spoke of how he'd finally learned to live with taking the lives of innocents. But, if he could find his lost Love he'd be content and do only good from that point for always.

Siddhartha explained then how reincarnation, as he understood it, worked. It was like this: “What is commonly called the Soul, but should be called the Monad, builds up bodies from the matter that makes up the layers of energy that make up what is known as Earth, and the Solar system of our Solar Logos commonly called The Sun. The physical body is made up of seven basic layers that function thus: The Seventh Plane also known as the Upper Spiritual or Abstract Spirit is the first manifestation, followed by the Sixth is referred to as Lower Spiritual or Concrete Spirit. The Fifth or the Upper Mental or Plane of Abstract Mind from this point downward to 1st plane, Life becomes Lives. What is known as the Personality begins to occur. The Fourth plane or Lower Mental or Concrete Mind, followed by Third Plane or the Upper Astral which is the plane of emotions; The Second Plane or Lower Astral or Psychic Plane where instincts and passions come into play; The first or Physical Plane is what we know as the Material world.”

“Emotions are what call us back to other places and other times as well as other people. Emotions are what create what's known as Karma. There can be good Karma and there can be what's called bad karma. But all Karma is good, if we learn the lessons that come through it's actions.” 

Siddhartha continued, “All of this seems rather dry for something that's so personal to each of us. My thinking is the way to reach balance is to have have emotions and to not interact with others. This way, if we spend our lives in contemplation we'll not build any bad Karma and therefore shorten the need for us to have lives on the manifest plane. 

“However”, The Master continue, “most of us are incapable of living lives in that manner. So what we must do then is to always be willing to live with the results of our own actions, and that no one else is responsible for what befalls us in each succeeding life time.”

“Alright Master, I understand all that you have said. I accept it all also. But, I am not responsible for what I am. I did not make me this way” Pamiu argued.

“A very valid argument Pamiu. However, there was something that called the Vampire to you. Do you know what that was? Did he tell you?”

Shaking his head sadly Pamiu replied, “I briefly touched his mind before the villagers came and drove him away. It felt it was the deep feelings between my Love and myself. He was jealous of that depth.”

“Pamiu, have you ever tried to share a memory with someone else, on purpose?” The Master asked suddenly.

“No Master, I have not. Why, do you want to experience what it is to almost die, well die but be undead?”

“No, I was wondering if you could share with me what you got from the vampire that attacked and changed you.”

“I don't know how I'd go about doing that sir. I was being drained of Life at the time,and I will not attempt that with you. It's been over a hundred years since I drank human blood.”

What if you try just touch. When you handed me the cup of water I felt something.

~o0o~


	10. Good and Evil

~o0o~

Today is Yesterday's Memory  
Chapter 10  
Good and Evil

Previously:

'“No, I was wondering if you could share with me what you got from the vampire that attacked and changed you.”

“I don't know how I'd go about doing that sir. I was being drained of Life at the time, and I will not attempt that with you. It's been over a hundred years since I drank human blood.”

What if you try just touch. When you handed me the cup of water I felt something.'

~o0o~ 

“The first thing you must get over is your fear, Pamiu. Fear allows the darkness within. Know that I trust you because you were and are a good man. Your not having taken a human life, nor drank of human blood for over 100 years says this to me.” The master held out his hands to Pamiu. “Here, take my hands, and let us see if we can travel into the past together.”

Pamiu/Edward sat in front of the Master and gave him his hands. The Master dropped immediately into a very deep meditative state for a few moments. Pamiu/Edward had to really concentrate and not breath this close to the Master. It would be so easy just pull him close and close his mouth around...no that way lays danger and would be counter productive. 

Within a very few minutes The Master opened his eyes and smiled hugely, “That was very interesting. I felt the level of Love that you had for your Love. I am almost envious of that depth you felt.”

Pamiu/Edward ask, “Will it be possible to find my Love again Master?”

The Master dropped his hands back into his lap loosely, and closed his eyes briefly. Then he spoke. “I believe that the level of Karma engendered between your Love and yourself is something that will draw you two back together again.”

“So, how will I find her again Master?”

“That is where you'll have to be very patient, and you'll have to enlist the assistance of many other people so that you'll have eyes and ears around the World. She should be incarnating again soon, but where to tell you to look, I can not say. You need to locate a teacher who's more highly evolved than I...one that is capable of tapping into the Akasha records to have a better chance of locating her.”

“Excuse me Master, the Akasha records? What and where are those?”

“Akasha means the basis and essence of all things in the material world.” 

“Forgive me Master, I do not understand. I'm seeing a picture in your mind, but I still need clarification. I am a simple man who's first remembered incarnation was along the banks of the Nile river. We had simple gods and ways of looking at the World. Can you explain better for me. Please?”

The Master smiled that serene little smile that Pamiu was beginning to recognize as the one that proceeded deep metaphysical teaching. “For example the first material element created from the astral world (Air, Fire, Water, Earth are the other four in sequence). It is one of the Panchamahabhuta, or 'five elements'; its main characteristic is Shabda (sound). I don't know how to explain it better, my son, other than every action on the face of Earth is recorded upon these records. There are Teachers more evolved than myself who can actually tap into these records and would be able to help you locate the center of this strong Karmic pull to your Love.”

Pamiu stood and began to pace back and forth, when he stopped he turned to face his Teacher once more. “Then I am lost and doomed to roam this Earth doing nothing but feeling more and more doomed.”

The Master felt a very strong Love for this soul and offered him this, “If you have not found one of high enough evolution to perform this task for you, come back to me in say, 20 years and if I have not myself attained this state, I'll surely know another by then.”   
At least Pamiu/Edward felt this was at least a crumb. “Yes Master. I shall do that. 20 years to me is nothing.”

And he was gone.

*****

During the next 20 years, Pamiu/Edward explored the Himalayas and all of the Indian Subcontinent. Over the years he heard stories of various Holy Men who knew all and could see all. He visited them all, and found none that was capable of reading the Akasha Records. Even though he learned a great deal about religion and spirituality, it was not what he wanted. He wanted results, and he wanted to know, now.

Finally, 20 years was up and he went in search of his Master who'd become known by this time as Gautama Buddha. Much to Pamiu/Edward's surprise, The Buddha was still sitting under the same Bodhi Tree.

As Pamiu/Edward approached Buddha, The Buddha serene smile widen and he spoke, “Pamiu, my son. How good it is to see you once more. Is it 20 years already?”

Pamiu/Edward smiled back at his Master. “Yes, Master, it's been 20 years. Have you reached that state in your personal evolution where you are able to read the records.

“Come sit by me my son. Tell me of your travels and what you have learned on your travels. Tell me of the World away from my Bodhi Tree.”

So Pamiu/Edward launched into his tale of his travels. When he'd finished he again ask the Buddha his question. “Have you learned to read the Akasha Records Master?”

The Buddha looked down into his lap then back into the now golden eyes of Pamiu/Edward, “Yes, and no my son.”

Frustration was the first thing that Pamiu/Edward experienced. He then, with very great effort, calmed himself. “Could you explain your answer Master, please.”

“The yes is I have reached that stage in my personal evolution to read the records, and the no is I can not do it for you. You have a very long way to travel in your own evolution my son. To give you that knowledge would be to deny your soul the experiences you need to reach that level of evolution.” 

It was obvious that Pamiu/Edward was about to loose his calm, so the Master held up his hand. “I can tell you, however, that in the distant future you will find your Love. Her name will be Isabella and together you shall walk the Earth doing good works for those less fortunate than yourselves.”

Pamiu/Edward rose abruptly. “I could just take from your mind what I need to know then and be done with this cat and mouse game.” Try as he may, all he was able to hear was the calming tones of the Buddha's voice repeating over and over, “All in Gods good time my son.”

“The I will bid you farewell then Master. May you live long.”

And he was gone. 

He continue searching for Holy Men who might hold a key to where he'd find his love, Isabella. He encountered many who claimed they knew and would be able to give him the secrets of the Universe, but it would involve many years of him obeying them only or it would involve much gold and silver first.

So he continued his lonely existence and traveled many times around this world in search of his Love.

~o0o~


	11. Meeting the Cullens

~o0o~

Today is Yesterday's Memory  
Chapter 11  
Meeting the Cullens

*****  
Love can be a wondrous Light  
That penetrates the night.  
Love can be a searing glare  
That will blind those who dare.  
Love can be a consuming fire  
Whose consequences can be quite dire  
Love can be calm and purring  
As a new born babes gentle slurring.  
Love can be words unthinkingly spoken  
That can make a fragile heart broken  
Love can be a gentle unsought touch,   
That will mean, oh so much!  
Love is sharing those innermost places  
Then allowing each their own outer spaces.  
Love is excepting each as we are,  
Knowing the truth can never mar.  
Love is being silly running thru a park  
Just being together on a lark.  
Love is all caring, child baring,  
For that is the real sharing.  
Love is you.  
Love is you,   
Oh yes, My Love is You  
Previously:   
'”Edward could hear the small gasp that escaped Bella after she'd said it, “As much as I'd love to take you up on that, I don't think it'd be a very good idea. Edward smiled into his phone, “I forgot to ask you Bella, would you like to meet my family tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sure.” Bella worried her lower lip with her teeth, “Boy, you sure know how to not help a girl go to sleep, Edward.” she smiled and frowned into her phone, “Now I'm going to be worried about what they'll think of me.” Bella was biting her lower lip again.”'  
*****  
Saturday morning after their first date:   
BPOV  
Saturday morning dawned with the Sun shining merrily with only a few clouds on the horizon and they did not seem threatening. It was going to be the first Sunny day in weeks it seemed to Bella and that was a good omen of what the day might bring.

Then Bella remembered that Edward was coming to pick her up at 11:00 to take her to his house to meet his parents. Oh My. There goes my confidence in the coming day. She had no idea why she was so concerned about meeting the Cullens. That is other than the fact that they were Edward's family.

Then she remembered that he had siblings to meet too. 

What if they didn't like me?

What would that do to Bella's burgeoning relationship with Edward?

Why do I feel so close to him?

Why am I dreaming about being someone else, somewhere else?

It excited her, and it frightened her at the same time. 

'“You bring death Swan...Amber colored eyes...you bring death...”' Bella cringed at that memory of what Emily Young had told her. She immediately pushed it away and down from her consciousness.

Hurriedly, took her shower, brushed her teeth and pulled her hair into a loose ponytail to keep it from her eyes so she could get dressed, and make her some thing small to eat. She had no idea what time they would be having lunch, or was it dinner. All she really could remember, at this point, was she was going to see Edward again, soon, and she could hardly wait for that. 

Why did he have such an effect on her?

Then, she remembered, he'd said he already loved her. That scared her, but the thought that he did love her already was wonderful. How was that possible?, because she too felt that she was already in love with Edward. She remembered his smiles and the way he carried himself...from somewhere, some-when. 

That was impossible! She'd never met Edward Cullen until his first day at school. But, she felt she already knew him. 

She was starting to drive herself crazy with these questions. Maybe today she'd find out something that would help her.  
*****  
Two hours later, Bella was dressed in a black pencil skirt and a white long sleeved blouse with her prettiest lacy underwear and full slip to match. She felt so feminine when she wore these...so lady like. She couldn't bring herself, however, to put on heels. That was just too much! So she opted for her black flats, and black thigh highs for hose. Oh My. She thought, I'm treating this like a real date. She was pulling the ponytail out to brush her hair when she heard the knock. 

She rushed down to the stairs to open the door. 

He was there in all his beauty.

Just looking at Edward was almost painful because he was so beautiful!

EPOV:  
Edward got out of his car, and just stood in front of Bella's father's small house.

Why am I so nervous? 

She's just meeting Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Jasper, and Emmett and Rosalie, his...family.

Oh! Now I know why I'm nervous!

He was remembering and running through all the thoughts he'd heard from the students about how unusual the Cullen eyes were, and that it must be genetic. '“It certainly showed that they were related to each other, didn't it? That weird eye coloring.”'

Edward knocked 3 times on the door. He waited and was poised to knock a fourth when the door opened. 

There she was. 

She was so beautiful. 

She looked almost as she had all those years ago. She was the same height, had the same eyes and hair, and was the same exact age. He wouldn't have been surprised if it wasn't still the same day.

As he took in her beauty and appearance he was enamored once again. No one could, or would take her place in his heart. He'd loved her the moment he'd first seen her on the bank of the River filling the clay water jugs for her family.

They both just stood their looking at each other. Finally, Edward broke the silence.

“Good morning Isabella.” His smile would have melted the polar ice cap.

She slowly opened the screen door, allowing him access to her home.

“Where's your father? I see his patrol car is not in the drive.”

“He's working. He usually works on the weekends so his deputies can have the weekends off with their families. He's only got 5 other men, and they keep only one or two officers on duty all the time unless they have some emergency come up, then it's all hands on deck. Week ends are usually pretty quite. It's Forks after all.” She smiled, and stood aside.

She motioned to the couch, “Have a seat Edward, I'll only be a couple minutes more. I have to try and do something with this hair of mine.” Grinning, “It has a mind of it's own.”

“You look beautiful, as always, Isabelle.” Edward spoke as he seated himself to wait. He wasn't sure she heard him say this last however.

*****  
BPOV:  
They pulled into the Cullen's driveway by 11:30 a.m. 

Standing in the open door, was a beautiful beautiful woman. She had a heart shaped face, shinning caramel colored hair, and those honey colored eyes that Edward and his siblings...that must be where the unusual coloring came from, her genetic coding. 

As they climbed the six steps and approached the door, the woman was joined by a blond headed man, who was as beautiful as Edward – in a different way – who's eyes were that same honey color.

The man extended his right hand to Bella, “You must be Bella. I'm Carlisle. This is my wife, Esme. It's so good to meet you.” His eyes raised from her's and sought Edward's.

When Carlisle released her hand, Bella found herself being pulled into a strong hug by Esme. “It's so wonderful to finally meet the girl that Edward has told us so much about. My but you are a beauty!” Esme seemed to have such a wonderful, motherly feel about her. Bella was immediately won over and all fear and nervousness instantly evaporated.

Bella felt Edward's familiar tingle in the middle of her back then, and Esme released Bella back to Edward. “Let's go into the living room and I'll introduce you to the rest of the family.

Yeah, sure. Let's do that. All her fear and insecurities returned like a cat pouncing on a mouse.

The four of them, walked into a large room who's back wall was entirely glass. It was breathtaking. The only thing that could have diverted her from the view, was the sound of people standing.

“Bella, this is Alice and Jasper” 

Another blond man stood and nodded his head in greeting. “Hello Bella, it's good to meet you. I'm Jasper.”

Bella felt herself being pulled into another embrace. This time it was a very petite girl with very short hair. “I'm Alice, and you can't imagine how wonderful it is to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you at school.”

Bella felt Edward's touch on her shoulder and Alice released her. 

Turning to Edward, he gently pulled her to another couple, and they were Rosalie and Emmett. Rosalie was beautiful beyond words, but Bella was not given time to really look at Rosalie, as she felt herself being pulled into the arms of an enormous man with short dark hair, and a very toothy grin. “Hello Bella! I'm Emmett” he was spinning her around like she was a small child.

“Emmett, please put Bella down!” The command came from Esme. “You'll scare her off before we get to know her better.”

Bella felt her waist being circled, protectively, by Edward.

“Well, Bella. This is my family.”

~o0o~

A/N: Original poem Love is You is used with permission of it's originator Carol W. Steele from 1980


	12. Remembering

~o0o~  
Today is Yesterday's Memory  
Chapter 12  
Remembering  
*****  
“Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield,   
upon which your reason and your judgment   
wage war against passion and your appetite.”  
From - The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

 

Previously

'“Well, Bella. This is my family.”'  
*****  
Bella POV

On my. They're a lot to take in and all so, friendly. She smiled up at Edward then looked at the rest of the family, “I'm so happy to meet you too. Though I don't think Edward's said much about any of you...”

There were titters all around the room and Esme looked sternly at everyone, “Ok, let's leave these two alone. Be sure to show Bella around the house Edward.”

And they were alone. Just like that.

Blinking, “Where did they go?”

Edward smiled at her and reached for her hand, “Come on. I'll give you the fifty cent tour for free.”

They climbed the stairs with Edward explaining what was on each of the three floors as they ascended. Reaching the third floor, Edward brought her to a door with his name written upon it in a beautiful blocked old fashion printing style. “This is my room.”

He opened the door and Bella's breath was taken away by the beauty of the view that could be seen from the windows. There was a set of double doors with a wide porch beyond. The walls were covered with shelves and contained hundreds of books. There was a stereo on one of the shelves with neatly aligned CD cases below on the next shelf. There was a day bed under that set of shelves with what looked like a black leather covering and red pillows scattered about it. There was a door on either side of the sliding glass doors opening onto the porch. 

Bella walked to the sliding doors and looked through them. From here she could see just how close the woods were to the house and mountains that surrounded the little valley the house was built in. In the distance she could see the glint from reflected water, that looked to be a waterfall.

“WOW.” was all she could say, “Just WOW. What a view, Edward.”   
She turned to him, only to find him staring at her that way she caught him doing at school sometimes. Like she was the most wonderful sight he'd ever seen. “What?”

Edward shook his head and smiled that panty dropping smile of his and walked up to stand beside Bella once more. Indicating to the doors on either side of them now, “Closet and en suite.”

Bella cocked an eyebrow, “What's an 'en suite'?”

Edward laughed, “That's just a fancy name for a full bath – double sinks, shower, and tub that can only be reached through that door. Want to see?” The last was teasingly.

Bella shouldered him, marking how hard his muscles were. Hum. Sexy. 

Bella marveled at how comfortable she was with Edward. Usually when there was anyone that she was not familiar with she'd freeze up and be very stiff with. When she was with Edward, they easily teased each other, though truth be told, there were times he made her a little uncomfortable with his staring at her like he was wistful of something, lost?

“Bella, Bella” Edward was calling her name.

“I'm sorry Edward, I was lost in thought. What did you say?” She turned to face him not realizing just how close he'd gotten to her. Her body was zinging with energy and something else she couldn't quite put her finger on.

“I asked you if it was okay to kiss you?” Edward was so close to her she could feel the air from when he spoke. She felt a little dizzy.

“Yeah, I guess so, if you want to.” was all she could get out.

“If I want to? Bella I asked you didn't I? You're so silly, and so beautiful,” with that he lowered his face to hers and their lips touched very softly at first when something exploded behind Bella's eyes.

There was a boy walking beside her along a fast moving broad river. It must have been twilight because the shadows were so long. They were laughing and teasing each other, when suddenly another man jumped from the reeds and grabbed her, and, and..... That was all she could remember. Edward had been that boy and she'd been that girl. They loved each other. They had been planning to get married. What had happened to her?!

She came back to the present and found herself with her arms wrapped around Edward's neck and kissing him passionately. She pulled her arms down to his chest and pushed gently back. He released her.

“Edward!” She was gasping now. “What was that?!” She found her self sitting on the floor with a very anxious Edward kneeling in front of her. “Edward, was that us?”

“What did you see Bella?”, Edward asked very quietly.

“I'm not sure. I think, no, I know, it was you and me walking along a river and some man jumped out in front of us, and grabbed me, I think. I don't know Edward. It's very confusing. What could it mean?” She was in a very dazed state of mind and it took her several moments to realize that Edward had lifted her from the floor and carried her to the day bed laying her down on it.

“Just lie still, I'll get Carlisle and you can tell him what happened.” Of course Carlisle was already at the door with an anxious Esme behind him.

“We were just about to know and tell you that...” Carlisle started saying then changed, 

“What's happened Edward?”

“I think Bella is remembering but she's very confused and feeling dazed. I thought you might have a look and see if you can help explain what happened?” Edward was speaking very softly not wanting Bella to hear what he was saying.

Then loud enough for Bella to hear, “Oh, Carlisle, could you please come have a look at Bella, she kinda fainted.”

“Of course,” Carlisle responded on cue.

*****  
BPOV

About an hour later, Edward was opening the door to his car for me to sit down, then waited until I'd buckled myself in before closing the door. I was still musing to myself about the little “experience” I'd just had when I realized that Edward was already sitting behind the wheel and was asking me something.

“I'm sorry Edward, I was just thinking about what happened, when you, ahem, kissed me.”

“Do you want to talk about it Bella?” His eyes were the most beautiful honey golden I'd ever seen, and so much affection shining from them.

“Ah, Edward, I'm not sure just exactly what it was. I need to really think about this, ah, whatever it was before I talk about it. Ok?”

“Sure, Bella. No problem. Just remember that I'm here for you.” 

He started the car and I just looked out the window seeing nothing except the scene that had appeared behind my eyes when Edward had kissed me.

“Edward, I need to ask you something about what I saw, er felt, er experienced.”

“Sure Bella. What do you need to ask?” He pulled off the paved road onto a dirt one and stopped the car when we were just a little in.

“I remember you telling someone that I was remembering. What was I remembering?”

~o0o~


	13. Beauty

~o0o~  
Today is Yesterday's Memory  
Chapter 13  
Beauty

And a poet said, "Speak to us of Beauty." Where shall you seek beauty, and how shall you find her unless she herself be your way and your guide?  
The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

Previously:  
“Edward, I need to ask you something about what I saw, er felt, er experienced.”

“Sure Bella. What do you need to ask?” He pulled off the paved road onto a dirt one and stopped the car when we were just a little in.

“I remember you telling someone that I was remembering. What was I remembering?”

BPOV:

Edward and I are sitting on the love seat in Charlie's small living room. “Edward, you have to tell me what I'm seeing when you kiss me. It makes me unbelievably sad and happy at the same time.”

I'm looking at my hands which I realize I've been twisting in my lap, until Edward put his hand over them.

“Bella. Bella, look at me please.”

I realize I have tears in my eyes as I raise them to look into Edward's. All I see there is compassion, understanding and...love? 

“Bella.” There is anguish in this voice. “You must remember for yourself. I can't put thoughts in your head. It has to be your realization. Please, understand.”

Parts of me understand this completely, the intellectual part of me. However, that emotional little girl wants to know and to know now!

Edward's index finger has found it's way under my chin and is gently pushing it up so as to see my eyes.

“How about I tell you a story?”

“A story! What like I'm some child that needs a bed time story?” I know I have pouty lips, but damn it, and I'm pouting.

“Well, in a way. Maybe it'll help you to understand better.” Edward knelt in front of me and grasps both of my hands in his keeping them still and no longer twisting them restlessly.

“Once upon a time in a country far, far way, dwelt a prince. He met a beautiful young woman one evening as he was walking through his kingdom. She was drawing water from the only source of water around. He watched her filling the goats bladders and hanging them back around her neck. She became aware that he was watching as she began to walk back to her village which was not very far from where she was.

“The Prince offered to carry the water bags for the beautiful young woman. She refused of course because she knew he was the prince, after all, drawing and carrying water was woman's work. 

“It became a daily ritual for him to watch her fill the water skins and for him to offer to carry them for her. One evening a Moon later, she allowed him to help her carry the water as far to where the village came into view.

“Finally the prince got up the courage to escort the beautiful young woman to her home where he asked permission of her father to go on walks together after her nightly chores were done.

“One fateful night, disaster struck and the beautiful young woman was killed by another man who'd become jealous of the love the Prince and his young woman were beginning to share. But this jealous other man was not satisfied with just taking the beautiful young woman away from the Prince, he infected the Prince with something that would follow the Prince the rest of his days. He mourned the loss of his Beauty and never gave up the hope that someday he'd find her again. Then miracle upon miracle happened and he did find Beauty again. He only had to wait for her to realize that she'd been found because she'd lost the memory of him and the events that took place on that fateful night. ” 

As Edward finished his story, joy and sadness shown on his handsome face.

*****

EPOV

As I knelt in front of Bella, my Beauty, I watched her face closely as I told her our story as gently as I could without telling her our story.

I watched the frown and pouty lips begin to smooth out, and then the frown reform as she was remembering – I was sure – what she'd begun to know with that last kiss we'd shared. 

As I finished the story, her eyes became wide with, shock?

“Edward, you kept emphasizing the word 'beautiful' and 'beauty”.”

I nodded ascent.

“My name, Bella is Italian for 'beauty' or 'beautiful'” 

Again I nodded ascent, and asked, “What does that mean to you?”

“Are you the Prince in the story?” She asked quietly.

Once more I nodded.

“Am I the Beauty in the story?” She had asked so softly that had I not been a vampire blessed with perfected hearing, I would not had heard her.

Once more I nodded.

Bella's mouth formed a perfect “O” and just sat there seemingly frozen.

~o0o~ 

A/N Ending: Sorry for the very slow updates. Real Life has a very real impact on the ability to think of anything other than just getting through one day at a time. Thank you for your patience.  
D


	14. Life is Fire

~o0o~  
Chapter 14  
Life is Fire

...And an old priest said, "Speak to us of Religion."   
...Is not religion all deeds and all reflection,  
And that which is neither deed nor reflection, but a wonder and a surprise ever springing in the soul, even while the hands hew the stone or tend the loom?  
Who can separate his faith from his actions, or his belief from his occupations?  
Who can spread his hours before him, saying, "This for God and this for myself; This for my soul, and this other for my body?"  
All your hours are wings that beat through space from self to self.  
He who wears his morality but as his best garment were better naked...  
From The Prophet by Gibran  
*****  
Previously:  
“He continued searching for Holy Men who might hold a key to where he'd find his love, Isabella. He encountered many who claimed they knew and would be able to give him the secrets of the Universe, but it would involve many years of him obeying them only or it would involve much gold and silver first.

So he continued his lonely existence and traveled many times around this world in search of his Love.”

*****  
Several years after having taken leave of his first teacher and master, Pamiu/Edward ventured into what in the 20 Century is know as Iran. He had heard of another Master/Teacher that might be able to answer his questions about how to find his lost Love again.

When he found Zoroaster, he was just becoming known for his spiritual philosophy sitting outside of his simple home, meditating in the middle of a herb garden. Since it was Spring, the plants were blooming and there were many bees flitting around the garden. 

Not wanting to disturb this Teacher, Pamiu sat down on the ground several feet away from him and closed his eyes and enjoyed the sun shine, the droning of the bees, and the wonderful fragrance of the herbs. 

“Hello there” Zoroaster's voice was deep and pleasant to hear. There was a quality and timber to the voice that almost made you listen to him speak and made your feel that this was a man in whom you could put your total trust. Pamiu remembered this had been the same soothing voice as the Buddha.

“Hello Master. I have traveled far to ask you questions and after you answer them I'll leave you in peace.” As he spoke Pamiu moved into the sunlight. As he did, the rainbow reflectiveness of his vampiric skin began to reflect the light in a multitude of colors. 

There was an audible gasp escape Zoroaster, “What are you? Are you an angel or a devil sent to torment me!”

Pamiu stopped dead in his steps and shook his head, “I don't really know what you could call me. I suppose it would depend upon your perspective. I only have a couple of questions and then I'll leave you, as I said, in peace.”

Zoroaster wasn't sure if he should even be talking to this, person. If it was a devil, it would be a trap to bring him from righteousness, but if he were an angel, it would offend the Creator to not talk with this representative.

“What is it you want to ask me then?”

“How would I go about finding when a soul was going to reincarnate again?”

“I do not believe in 'reincarnation' in that way my Friend. I believe that before the end of time the Creator will allow all those who've passed into that mystery we call Death, to come back and locate those they've loved in their life.” He continued to stare at the individual before him in wonder. Again, he asked, “What are you?”

“I was a man just like yourself. Now, I do not know what I am. I have one last question for you if you don't mind, please. Why do your worship Fire?”

Nodding, “Yes, the belief that I worship fire.” heavy sigh escaped, “It's not the fire that I worship, but what stands behind it and why it represents. Life.”

“How does Fire represent Life.”

“When the Creator saw fit to bring forth Life, the Fiery spirit, or essence, of the Creator's Love was sent forth and breathed into all things that live. Fire is the physical manifestation of that essence. Therefore, as with all symbols of worship, it's not the Fire that I worship, but that for which it stands.”

“Thank you Master.” And Pamiu was gone to continue his search for answers.

~o0o~  
A/N: Short chapter. Many of you have remarked that you are enjoying Edward's meeting of some of the greats of our history. Thank you so much for that. It was one of the main elements I had thought of from the beginning. What else could he do since he's been alive for so long and searching so hard. **smiles** The course for true undying love would be long and difficult. How would you go about the search?


	15. Beauty - continued

Today is Yesterday's Memory  
Chapter 15  
Beauty (continued) 

“And the priestess spoke again and said: "Speak to us of Reason and Passion."  
And he answered saying:  
Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against passion and your appetite.”  
From The Prophet   
*****

Previously:  
'“Am I the Beauty in the story?” She had asked so softly that had I not been a vampire blessed with perfect hearing, I would not have heard her.

Once more I nodded.

Bella's mouth formed a perfect “O” and just sat there seemingly frozen.”'

*****

EPOV:

If I needed to breathe, I would holding my breath. 

Bella is still sitting on the loveseat in her father's small house. If it were not for my vampire hearing I would not even know that she's breathing. 

All the color has drained from her face.

Her mouth is still forming that perfect little “O”. Her hands are rigid within my own.

Nothing has changed in her physically. I know her mind is either sorting and dealing with what she has begun to realize, or it's lock up and unable to process the information.

Finally, after what seems like hours, Bella's hands relax a little, and her eyes have sought out mine.

“Edward...I remember. At least I think I do. It's like a dream.” 

There are tears in her eyes which have gotten larger with, surprise? Fear? I don't know.

BPOV

I remember everything.

It's like a tidal wave crashing over me.

I'm drowning.

I'm being thrown about.

Gasping for air, and all I'm getting is my lungs full of dark, cold water. 

When I try to open my eyes I can't see anything but greyness, dark shapeless grey.

The sound I'm hearing is a roaring that's so loud and consuming.

My sight begins to clear a little and I can see dark wavy shapes moving.

Then my sigh clears and I can see a young man and I recognize him as Edward, but he looks a little different. He's laughing and talking animatedly to someone...me.

I can't hear what he's saying. I try to harder to hear him.

I know I love this young man.

I have always loved this young man.

It's too much. I can't bear the weight.

Suddenly, all the light has gone out.

The pressure leaves me. 

I open my eyes.

Someone is calling my name.

“Bella! Bella! Bella!” I hear it faintly in the distance.

“Bella!” Louder.

“Bella!” It's a familiar voice. Edward's voice.

I manage to open my eyes and I see him inches from my face, eye level with me.

EPOV

She remembers!

Now the true test comes. 

How will she deal consciously with this, this revelation? 

Bella is just sitting there looking at me, but I know she's not really seeing me, well, she's seeing me, but as I was, then. 

She is not seeing me, today.

I knew this was going to happen. I had been warned by Carl, this was probably going to be Bella's reaction when she started remembering. All the other Masters I'd managed to find over the years had mentioned something along the same lines. 

I have to wait...just a little longer. Be patient, just a little while longer. Her mind was frozen with the enormity of what she was realizing.

After what seemed like hours, I decide finally to start trying to get her to come back to the current time. Calling her name and watching her face closely for any signs of recognizing the sound of his voice, and that she was back in the current time flow.

Finally. 

“Edward?” Her voice was weak. Grasping onto that, I call her name again and again until she's able to focus fully again.

“I saw. I saw. I saw,” was all that Bella mumbled. Her eyes were still slightly unfocused.

“Edward” her voice was still low, but definitely stronger and fully conscious.

“I know Edward.”

“I saw us together.” Tears leaked from her eyes. “It's too much Edward. It's too much. I need to think this through. Please leave and let me think this through.” By the end of her sentence she was sobbing. Her head hanging now into her hands. Her shoulders shaking.

All I could do was kiss her head, give her shoulders a gentle squeeze. “You know where I'll be Bella. Please, call me and let me know how you are.”

I stood, went to the door to the outside, turned and looked one more time at this woman child I had hunted for and loved all these centuries. What I had been hoping for had finally come to pass.

She remembered me. She remembered us.

I closed the door behind me, climbed into my car and left. 

I was, I am terrified. 

~o0o~


	16. End or Beginning?

~o0o~  
Today is Yesterday's Memory  
Chapter 16  
End or Beginning  
****  
On Death  
You would know the secret of death.  
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?  
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.  
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.  
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.   
The Prophet  
Kahlil Gibran  
*****  
Previously:  
“She remembered me. She remembered us.

I closed the door behind me, climbed into my car and left. 

I was, I am terrified.” 

~0~0~0~0~

 

BPOV

I don't know how long I sat there staring at nothing.

Remembering.

Edward...he'd looked so sad, but so full of hope.

Then I had smashed that hope by sending him away.

What had I done! EDWARD!

I was running to the front door before I realized what I was doing. I could see the tail lights of his car as I screamed his name out, one more time EDWARD! Come back.

I was running down the steps, along the walk way, into the street, waving wildly.

“EDWARD! I love you. Come back to me!”

I didn't see the car that was coming up fast behind me.

EPOV  
I was almost broken. 

I had pushed harder than I should have. 

Now I had to wait and see if she'd realize how much she loved me and I her. 

Too many years had passed, and if she totally rejected me now, I just find someway to end it. 

I am tired of the endless hours with nothing really constructive to do. I either needed to find something to invest my time in besides hunting for Bella, or end it.

I kept coming back to that, 'end it'.

How does that happen.

I looked up in the rear view mirror and saw Bella running down the middle of the street waving her arms wildly as if she were trying to catch someone's attention. Me?

It was then I saw the car that was careening down the road. It took about one second for me to realize what was going to happen. 

I slammed on my breaks, slammed the car into reverse and started speeding backwards to Bella. 

I could tell I wasn't going to make it, but I had to try.

BPOV

Finally I heard the car's engine and looked over my shoulder just in time to see the bright red sports car about to hit me. I was starting to move out of the center of the road, but not fast enough.

I felt a heavy blow to my right leg that sent me flying into something I never saw and it all went black.

EPOV

I was out of my car and racing down the rest of the way to where the red sports car was continuing to swerve along the street not stopping to see if Bella was alive or dead.

I stopped the car.

Then I went to Bella and knelt beside her.

She was covered in blood, and not making a sound.

I listened and I could hear a faint heart beat, just barely.

Before I even realized I'd done it, I had my cell phone in my hand pressing the speed dial. “Carlisle, Bella's been hit by a car not too far from her house, please come now.” I closed it and put it back in my pocket.

I left her there, not moving her because I didn't want to injure her further. I remembered then to dial 911 and report the accident and need for an ambulance STAT.

Then I approached the red sports car and the driver, who was unconscious and sprawled with his head back and the air bag in his face still. He had a wonderful bloody nose, probably broken, and with any luck both his legs could be broken if not, I'd be happy to do that for him.

By this time, however, people who'd been at home were coming out of their houses to gawk.

Carlisle arrived from between two houses a little down the street, and managed to run at human speed to Bella's side. He had his bag with him and looked very official.

While he worked over Bella, the ambulance arrived and the fire truck as well. The EMT's came immediately over to Carlisle and Bella, while the firetruck personnel checked the red sports car out. The police arrived just about that time too.

I told the officers that I had witnessed the whole nasty business as I was looking in my rear view mirror at the time. None of the other bystanders seemed to have seen anything at all. So, my testimony, along with his blood alcohol level would be enough to get his drivers license revoked, and some jail time with all of Bella's medical bills paid by his insurance company.

That is if she survived. From the look on Carlisle's face and the tone of his thoughts, it was going to be touch and go. 

“Officer,” I asked the one who'd taken my statement, “Could you tell me who the sports car driver is?”

The officer looked at the drivers license he had on the clipboard he was using to write on. “What do you need it for?”

“I just talked to my lawyer and he said to get it just in case there were extenuating circumstances that wound up in a law suite.” I lied, but I did have a good human attorney, that wanted to become one of us – go figure.

“Who's your attorney?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Jason Jenks.” I replied.

The only reaction to that was the O his mouth formed, “In that case, it was Paul Lahote. The name meant nothing to me, but I filed it away for future usage if necessary. The officer also gave me Mr. Lahote's address and drivers license number.

Carlisle was getting into the ambulance with Bella's broken body that the EMT's had strapped to a board, just in case.

I asked the officer if I was free to leave, hurried – human speed – to my car and beat the ambulance to the hospital ER. I followed the gurney and Carlisle into the ER and back into the actual bed spaces. I had assisted Carlisle many times in the past and would do so again today if allowed.

Edward, please just go stand over there by the window, I'll keep you informed of what I find.

I nodded and did as I was bid.

Three nurses came into the area, only one of them actually saw me.

“What are you doing in here? You can't stay...” she didn't get a chance to finish as Carlisle told her to be silent that it was okay and that he'd given me permission as long as I stayed out of the way.

She shot me some nasty looks but was soon ordered by Carlisle to a specific task that took her from the room to call various labs and order procedures. 

Within minutes they were wheeling Bella's gurney out of the ER and into the elevators to take her to X ray. I started to follow, but was stopped by Carlisle.

Just listen for me Edward. Go to my office, it's the floor below that part of the hospital. I'll keep up a running report to you.

“Keep her alive Carlisle. I can't loose her this soon after finding her.” I begged.

You know I'll do my best Edward, but be prepared to take matters into your hands if needed.

I knew exactly what he meant. If Bella was going to die, I would steal her from the hospital and change her, but only if she was going to die. If she lived, I get her well and if she wanted to we'd get married then disappear and I'd change her and we'd continue through the rest of our existences together.

I found Carlisle's office, went in and sat down to wait and listen.

He'd just gotten her to X ray. The Doctor in charge of that department was a good friend of Carlisle's and when he'd been called and told it was Carlisle's patient, he was there waiting for Bella. True to his word, Carlisle passed on to me mentally everything that the X ray doctor said.

Shattered right femur, fractured Pelvis, right side; no broken or cracked ribs – we caught a break there – however, the entire left arm and shoulder blade shattered; ramus mandible shattered and fractures to the temporal squamus and superior. She must have been spun around and thrown into that parked car.

Edward, if she recovers it could take years for her to heal.

They're taking her right into surgery and repair as much as they can today. I'll be assisting so I'll be late getting home tonight. Please call Esme and tell her. You may stay in my office and listen in if you'd like, or you can steal a set of scrubs and hang out outside OR 4. It's your choice Edward. If it looks like she's not going to get off the operating table we'll have to wing it. Be thinking of a plan, and I'll follow your play, but listen very closely for the verdict.

Edward had never felt so helpless. He knew she'd been injured very badly. He should have just bitten her and run with her into the woods.

Edward took out his cell phone and called Esme and gave her the message. 

He then found a set of scrubs and paced up and down the hall outside of OR 4.

It was up to Carlisle now. 

All Edward could do was wait.

~o0o~  
A/N ending: Oh no! Dinia what are you doing? What do ya'll thinks going to happen?


	17. Decisions

Today is Yesterday's Memory  
Chapter 17  
Decisions

~o0o~

And a woman spoke, saying, "Tell us of Pain."  
And he said:  
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.  
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.  
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;  
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.  
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.  
Much of your pain is self-chosen.  
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.  
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:  
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,  
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.  
From:  
The Prophet  
by Kahlil Gibran  
~o0o~

Previously:  
“Edward had never felt so helpless. He knew she'd been injured very badly. He should have just bitten her and run with her into the woods.

Edward took out his cell phone and called Esme and gave her the message. 

He then found a set of scrubs and paced up and down the hall outside of OR 4.

It was up to Carlisle now. 

All Edward could do was wait.”

Currently:

EPOV:

When I'd reached the hospital I called Bella's father, Charlie. Of course I should have known that he would have heard about the accident through the police departments radio scans. He, however, didn't know it was his daughter who'd been involved.

I met him outside of the ER entrance and told him where she was and what Carlisle had said. Of course, to say he was tense, was an understatement.

He questioned me how I'd come to know about the incident and what I'd seen.

“So, it happened because Bella was running down the middle of the street trying to get your attention because you two had had a misunderstanding and she'd ask you to leave, which you did. 

I nodded.

He continued, “You saw her in your car's rear view mirror, and that's how you witnessed the other vehicle coming up behind her at too fast a speed. 

I nodded yes. 

“It appeared that Bella realized that this car was about to hit her and she tried to move out of it's way, but was not quick enough. It hit her on her right side and spun her body into a car that was parked on the curb. It looked as if it was her left side that hit the parked car.”

Again, I nodded yes.

“You had been backing your own car up going back to her when the accident occurred. After she'd been struck and finally came to rest, you got out of your own vehicle and ran back to the scene.” 

“You don't know what the vehicle that hit Bella ran into as you were too focused on Bella.” 

I nodded.

“You could tell, however, that the speed had been sufficient enough to cause the air bag to deploy and that the driver was breathing.” 

I nodded yes once more.

“You didn't move either Bella or the driver of the offending vehicle. You called your father, and 911 and then you thought to call me.”

“Yes sir.” I nodded, “I guess, maybe, I should have called you immediately, but all I could think of at first was to get her medical assistance as quickly as possible and I knew my father was close enough to get there before the ambulance would have. I also felt you would have wanted her taken care of first. If I did anything in the wrong order in your mind, I'm very sorry sir. I reacted as my father has taught us to do in the light of an emergency.”

Charlie took a deep breath, “No son, you did it all correctly. Your father is to be commended for educating you so well. I thank you for your quick thinking. I can tell that you care very much for my Isabella, for that today I am thankful.” His expression was rueful, “Will you be able to continue to stay around here and wait for your father to finish up in there?” 

As if anything would have managed to get me to leave. “Yes sir. My mother has already called the school and told them I'm not coming in for a few days. I'll be able to stay with her when she comes out of OR, if that's alright with you, and you give your permission to the hospital.”

“Certainly son, I'll be sure to do that before I leave. Let me give you my personal cell phone number so you can contact me directly if something else happens with her. My Bella has been so accident prone all her life. I think part of me has been waiting for something really major to happen to her.” His eyes had a distant look to them as if he was remembering past incidents involving Bella.

“I understand from what the charge nurse told me, that she's going to be in there for sometime, that she's not out of the woods yet and that even when they're finished with her in surgery, it could be sometime before we actually know what her prognosis will be.” He palmed his face and appeared to be scrubbing it to clear his eyes and his mind, “ I'm not doing any good here.” 

He turned on his heels and walked to the elevator, after the doors opened, he put his hand out to hold the doors open and turned back to me, “You keep your phone out. In fact, put me on your speed dial. You call me when there's any change.” With that he was in the elevator and gone.

I could tell from his thoughts, that Bella was coming first in his thoughts, but he honestly felt he could trust me to fulfill the task he'd just set me. Charlie was a very pragmatic man. 

~ooooo~

Hours later, Carlisle came out of the OR. He had delivered a running commentary on what was going on with the surgery. 

I was waiting for him in his office. “What are you going to do Edward?”

“I want Bella with me for the rest of my existence. I think right now, I'll have to wait and see how she does. I promise that if it looks as if her vitals drop too low, I'll take immediate action.”

Carlisle looked very thoughtful. “I'll stay with her too Edward. I can get a couple of the other doctors to cover for me. Heaven knows I've covered for most of them. That way, if you need to leave with her, I can cover it for sometime.”

We decided that if she began sinking too fast, I would bite her, then leave the hospital at vampire speed carrying her. I'd then take her to our home, and leave her with Esme to watch over. I would come back, and he and I would leave the room at the same time so there'd be witnesses to our not being there when it was discovered that Bella was gone. 

I would stay at home with Bella and wait through her transformation period, work with her through the first critical hours of rebirth, first feedings and then for a month or so, hang around waiting for some word to come about Bella's whereabouts. Then, after a long enough period of time, put out the story that I was heart broken and had been sent to a clinic somewhere to help get me through the depression.

Good cover story. Carlisle and I were very good at this. We should have been. We've been at it long enough. 

“There's only one thing I'm worried about Carlisle. What if Bella didn't want to be changed.”

“Do you think that's a possibility Edward?”

“Carlisle, at this point, I know anything is a possibility. The only thing I know for sure is I will not live another three thousand years waiting. Not now. Not after having found her finally at the right time.” 

Carlisle stood up, putting on a clean lab coat, “Shall we go to Bella now? They should have her fully set up in her room.”

A few minutes later we were standing in Bella's hospital room. I was looking down at her very pale and broken body. If I had been capable of crying I would have. I took up her hand in my own and held it there gently. Normally, her body temperature would have been very warm, but currently she was barely warm. 

Now all we had to do was wait. Not a concept I was unfamiliar with.

~o0o~

A/N (1) So what do you think is going to happen? Let me know your thoughts.   
A/N (2) I have been asked why I proceed each of the chapters of this story with a snippet from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. The short answer is, it speaks to me. The longer version is not only does it speak to me, but it helped me to raise my daughter and cope with being a single, working mom from the time she was 5 years old through her high school years. Needless to say, I was dealing with some shit on a personal and Mom levels. It helped me to realize that I have the strength within myself to gain, loose, and overcome what Life brings, and then come out stronger.


	18. Tim Is Measureless

Today is Yesterday's Memory  
Chapter 18  
Time is Measureless

On Time  
by  
Kahlil Gibran from The Prophet  
You would measure time the measureless and the immeasurable.  
You would adjust your conduct and even direct the course of your spirit according to hours and seasons.  
Of time you would make a stream upon whose bank you would sit and watch its flowing.

Yet the timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness,  
And knows that yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream.  
And that that which sings and contemplates in you is still dwelling within the bounds of that first moment which scattered the stars into space.  
Who among you does not feel that his power to love is boundless?  
And yet who does not feel that very love, though boundless, encompassed within the centre of his being, and moving not from love thought to love thought, nor from love deeds to other love deeds?  
And is not time even as love is, undivided and spaceless?

But if in your thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons,  
And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing. 

~o0o~

Previously:  
“A few minutes later we were standing in Bella's hospital room. I was looking down at her very pale and broken body. If I had been capable of crying I would have. I took her hand in my own and held it there gently. Normally, her body temperature would have been very warm, but currently she was barely warm. 

Now all we had to do was wait. Not a concept I was unfamiliar with.”

~o0o~  
“Edward, what if Chief Swan doesn't swallow the story that you and Carlisle didn't have anything to do with Bella's vanishing? After all you two will be the last to actually see her at the hospital.” Esme was asking.

Sighing, “I don't know Esme. I don't want to cause this family any problems, but I'm not letting her die without being transformed.”

“Maybe we should just all pack up and leave Forks and head somewhere else. Change our identities again and separate for while.” Emmett was saying, “After all, you are the reason we're all together in the first place. I'd do anything for you Edward. You've been there for all of us more times than I can count, or want to think about. You and Carlisle are the rocks upon which we've formed our family.”

“You know, Emmett, sometimes you actually make sense” Edward laughed. “You might be right though. I can't see this ending tidily. I feel it's going to get very messy. What do you see, if anything, Alice?”

Alice had that dreamy, far away look that she got when she was seeing possible futures.

Everyone waited until Alice's eyes cleared and she was fully back with them.

Alice looked at Edward steadily. “I see three possible ways this can go. One is that she improves and makes a full recovery and you will have time to make sure this life is something that she wants also.” 

“Two,” Alice continued, “Bella becomes unstable and is close to death and you intervene and she makes a flawless transformation and you two live happily ever after.”

“Three is similar to two except she hates you for making her like us and we're forced to destroy her and you because you loose your mind and attack us. In the process most of us also are ended.” 

“We don't like the third possibility.” Alice ends shaking her head.

“However, that third possibility is very hazy and I don't think it's the most likely.” Alice seems very sure of this.

“So Alice, what will have to happen to bring about one and two then,” Edward asks. 

“Not sure, but...” Alice holds up her index finger so no one breaks her train of thought, “...but she was chasing you down the road to stop you, so we can safely assume that she realized that she loved you and wanted you to come back.”

“So?” Emmett huffs, “Come on Alice, I hate this shit. I have no patience at all when it comes to drama.”

This is not news to the family members.

“So” Alice continues, “Bella's in love with Edward and she REMEMBERED that she'd been in love with him always. She wants to be with him, and she knows what he is, what we are. I think she's going to be fine with transformation, especially if it would keep her from being separated from Edward again. She'll be okay with being changed without her verbal permission. Any other problems will be small compared to that.”

Edward actually smiles at that.

Carlisle and Esme smile, Rosalie and Emmett and Jasper are smiling also.

Carlisle voices his opinion, “If it comes to forced transformation Edward, we'll all leave at the same time. It's certainly not the first time we've had to disappear, and I'm sure it won't be the last either. I really would like to keep the family together. I feel we work well as a family.”

Everyone nods their heads in agreement.

EPOV:

The family had decided that we're going to stick together. I feel so warmed by their decision to keep us together. Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie are all supposed to be away at college so they are able to make the arrangements for the moving van to pick up and store indefinitely all the house hold goods. We will never claim the stuff that we have stored, but then we can always acquire more goods.

While I sit and wait to know what my... our, course of action will be I'm reminded of the time I spent in the presence of Gandhi in my not so dim past. He was a man of superhuman strength and deep conviction of what his vision of how human relationships with each other and the Creator should be.

I found him early on in his journey toward his own self discovery. His mind was one of the most organized of any human mind I'd come in contact with. 

His inner peace was wonderful to tap into and there was never any guile nor could I ever discover any deceit in what he shared with his followers. What he said he absolutely believed with every fiber of his being. Gandhi never demanded that anyone follow him, or that anyone believe what he had to say, or experience anything that he himself felt the need to experience.

I stayed with him until his death at the hands of another human. Gandhi whispered before dying that he forgave his murderer. Total inner peace was Gandhi's final action. 

I wondered that day if I'd ever find such peace in my life. I had not, until the day I'd discovered where my Isabella had reincarnated. If she did not want to follow me into eternity, I would find a way to that peace, until my final death.

I knew that I was not a soulless creature incapable of the Creator's love. If I'd learned anything over the centuries I'd lived, it was that everyone and everything is able to evolve into something more, and has the ability to experience higher planes of consciousness.

One has only to express the desire and find the will to reach those desires. The Creator did, after all, create even the meanest of the creatures that roam the World. Evolution and Life were the expressed fulfillment of the Creators actions. 

Death of a line of evolution was only a chemical reaction to the environment. Nothing is ever truly lost as it's consciousness remains in the chain of that evolution. All things upon this Earth evolved from something else.

“Edward” it was Carlisle's mind reaching me.

I looked up to find Carlisle regarding me.

“Yes” I responded quietly.

“It's time.” was all he said.

~o0o~


	19. It's Time

~TiYM~

On Death  
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.  
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.  
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance. Kahlil Gibran 

~o0o~

Previously:

'“Edward” it was Carlisle's mind reaching me.

I looked up to find Carlisle regarding me.

“Yes” I responded quietly.

“It's time.” was all he said.”'

~o0o~

In a flash, Edward was standing beside Bella's dying body. The family, the Cullen Family, had all agreed upon the forced transformation. If Bella didn't want it, they'd deal with that when it happened.

Of course no one had seen Edward enter the hospital or Bella's room.  
Carlisle stationed himself at the nurses station in plain view of everyone. People had seen Edward leave so they were covered there. Now, the door to Bella's hospital room was closed and Edward was alone with his beloved.

EPOV:

She's so beautiful. Her name really describes her. Her heart beat is barely registering on the instruments. 

I bend down, and press my lips to her throat, and I bite. Finding all the points on her frail body I administer a dose of venom. Then I pick her up and leave the hospital at vampire speed, and take her to the house and the bedroom set aside for her transformation period. By the time all the preparations are made to complete it, everything will be in place and the Cullen's will vanish once again.

Lovingly, Bella is laid upon the bed. I sit down and pick up her hand and I begin the vigil. The transformation usually takes 3 days to complete.

Rosalie,Emmett and Jasper already have their cover story of being away at college, so that just leaves Alice and I to pretend to be high school students. When Bella is ready to leave, Alice, and I with Bella – I fervently hope – will disappear. Carlisle and Esme will follow not to long after. That is the plan right now. 

Of course, plans are always subject to change.

In the event that Bella does not wish to join our family, and me, I will stay close to her to watch over her and protect her, with or without her knowledge. I am now responsible for her. The plan is for me to take her far into the Great Northwest's mountains where the game is still plentiful and introduce Bella to the diet of animal blood.

Bella's transformation goes smoothly and on the afternoon of the third day, Bella opens her eyes. They are still the rich warm brown as when she was alive, but they see “more” than before the transformation.

She looks around momentarily confused.

“Edward?” 

“Yes, my Love.” 

“Where am I? Why aren't I still at the hospital?”

“You remember being there,” I ask quietly.

“Yes. It was cold feeling. I heard you and my father talking quietly...other people speaking in hushed tones. I think I died too. Did I, die that is?” She looks at me questioningly.

“Yes, you did Bella.”

“But does that mean I'm in heaven now?”

“No, Bella I transformed you just before your heart gave out, and brought you here to complete the process.”

“Oh...what about my father?”

“He thinks you were kidnapped from the hospital by persons unknown for reason unknown. He strongly suspect you were the victim of a modern day body snatcher to be used in illegal medical experiments.”

“I need to let him know that I'm not dead!” Bella rises, but I grasp her hand more strongly.

“You can't see him again Bella. All the medical read outs confirm that you were dead before your body disappeared. Also, if you should see him now, you'd attack him and drain him dry of his blood.” I'm speaking very calmly and matter-of-factly.

“Oh.” Bella sits down upon the bed.

“So, what do I do then?”

“I want you to stay with me. Surely you can feel that we are mates?” I'm looking at her as calmly as I can manage.

She must understand.

Bella's POV

Edward is giving me almost too much information to take in.

I'm dead, at least to everyone but Edward, and presumably his family.

How does someone deal with this form of not life?

“Bella,” Edward speak barely above a whisper, “I've been looking for you for three thousand years.”

I find myself nodding in understanding.

Then I remember. My dreams, the visions that happened when Edward would kiss me.

I understand everything suddenly with crystal clear clarity.

My life long dreams were true. I was at one time another woman who was in love with a man and we were to be married, but we were killed by a vicious vampire. But Edward managed to live on while I was drained totally.

The part of me that made me who I am, fled my body and over time was attracted to other physical bodies. I Lived and died many, many times. Always knowing that someday I would be reunited with my first and only true love.

Here he was. Edward Cullen was that man. Everything I'd felt for him so many centuries ago came back in full force. 

“I understand Edward. Thank you my Love. It's been such a long time. When can we being our lives together, forever?”

“Bella, you understand?” Edward seems to be surprised.

“Yes, Edward. I do. I remember. That's why I was chasing you down the street after you'd left my house. It had all come flooding back to me. I was going to tell you, then I was hit by a car, wasn't I?”

“Yes, my Love. Carlisle was unable to save your human body and therefore give you a choice of becoming one of us, or continuing with your current human life.” Edward explains.

“I want to be with you Edward. I love you. I have always loved you.” Bella stands and pulls Edward to herself. “Thank you for finding me again. Thank you for not giving up on me, ever.”

“So, tell me. How did you manage to spirit my body from the hospital?” 

~o0o~   
A/N Please look for me on Face Book as Dinia Steel. Let me know you've been reading this story


	20. We Have Nothing But Time

Chapter 20  
We Have Nothing But Time

Previously:   
“I want to be with you Edward. I love you. I have always loved you.” Bella stands and pulls Edward to herself. “Thank you for finding me again. Thank you for not giving up on me, ever.”

~o0o~

EPOV

I take Bella's hand into mine and together we leave the Cullen house and venture out into the forest for Bella's first experience as a vampire.

“You wanted to know how I got you from the hospital, watch this.” And I take off running through the forest and then return to her side. “ What did you see?”

Smiling, “I saw you become a streak of colors leaving and coming back.” She states.

“Exactly,” I reply. “You saw what you did because you are a vampire, but human's don't even see that. They may feel a breeze with our passing, or a shiver, but they can't see us. It was easy to take you from your room unseen. Carlisle made sure he and I left your room together and stopped at the nurses station so everyone there saw us both. He stayed there and they saw me head for the stairs. I then turned around and came back to your hospital room at vampire speed, unhooked your tubes, and sped out of the hospital carrying you in my arms. As soon as I got you in the woods, I bit you the first time too get the process started and finished my part once I got you to the house.”

“Come My Love, let's go find you something to drink,” and we take off at a slow vampiric run into the deep woods.

“No humans Edward. I can't do that no matter how thirsty I get” Bella tells me.

“Not to worry Love, I wouldn't do that. I haven't drunk from a human in at least two thousand years. Now a bear or better yet a mountain lion, that's good drinking!” 

~o0o~

“That last one was interesting,” Bella says as she tries to figure out how to hold what's left of her t-shirt.

“You'll get the hang of it quickly Love, not to worry.”

We're heading back to the house so Bella can change her shirt and to have a family pow wow to discuss our future plans.

~o0o~

Everyone is all smiles and “welcomes” as Bella and Edward come into the house. 

Carlisle and Esme hug Bella, followed by Rose, Alice, Emmett and Jasper.

“Well, you all know the plan,” Carlisle says. “Jasper, you have new ID's and papers for everyone along with their cover stories.” 

Jasper nods his ascent. Stacked on the table in front of him are legal document sized envelops with a name printed on the front of each, he hands them out. 

We all have our new bank accounts set up with blinds within blinds built into them. We'll all meet up again in two years in London at the family mansion. Meanwhile, if you can't bear being away from each other,” Emmett barks out a laugh at that, “there are new untraceable cell phones in each of the envelops with a list of coded contacts in the listings. If you lose your phone and someone tries to use it without entering the proper code the memory chip is fried and no longer readable. I suggest that each of you create your own back up and put them into a safety deposit box somewhere, or someplace secure. Just in case.” Jasper ends his little security speech with a wink.

Emmett then pops up saying, “So Rose and I will disappear tonight, followed by Alice, Jasper, Edward and Bella tomorrow after Edward and Alice get home from school. Then Carlisle and Esme will follow within the week.”

Carlisle looks to Edward, “Have you decided where you're going to take Bella first?”

Grinning like a mad man Edward tells them his plans. “Yes. We're going up to Alaska and go big game hunting and then I was thinking about the Veldt of Africa. There's still plenty of lions and leopards, and then maybe India for some tiger hunting.”

Emmett was watching Bella's face and remarked, “I think your girl is all for those plans! Look at that huge smile.”

Bella grins, “Actually, I was just thinking about being alone with Edward! We've been apart for too long.

Edward pulled Bella to him and kissed her deeply.

“You two get a room!” Emmett bellows.

~o0o~

Several days later, Bella and Edward are standing atop an ice cliff watching a polar bear crossing the ice.

“Go get him Bella” Edward encouraged.

Within seconds, Bella has the bear by the throat and drained of blood moments after that.

“My turn,” Edward says as he speeds across the ice field into a stand of woods not far away. There he had heard a pack of wolves. He grabs the Beta of the pack and heads into the tree tops to have his meal in peace. Bella is by his side a few moments later. 

“Good one Edward. I'm so happy that you left the mated pairs alone. Call me sentimental.” Bella kisses her mate passionately.

“So, now do you think you can take me to Africa? I'm dying to try lion for dinner!” 

Edward laughs. “Yes my Love, but I think you'll have to settle for shark or some sea creature first as we'll need to swim a good part of the way. It's too soon to take you around humans. But you're doing so well that it won't be long.”

“Let's get going Edward! I can't wait to explore and have adventures with you!” Bella has taken off running toward the coast line.

Laughing, “I'm coming My Love! Right behind you!”

The Beginning  
~o0o~

 

Authors Ending Note: So ends the beginning of Edward and Bella's new life together. What adventures will unfold for the couple? What horizons will they explore together? It was always my intention to have a series of follow up out takes for this. Hopefully RL will allow me to do that. It's been fun exploring this story line and I'm happy that most of you found it different and were enjoying it. Why was it so short? I said what I'd wanted to say. Hope to see ya'll soon.

Hugs  
Dinia


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